


Blue Eyes

by TooManyFanficsYouAss



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Big Brother Dean, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Breaking Up & Making Up, Bromance, Bromance to Romance, Castiel Has a Crush on Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Cute, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Teenagers, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Young, Chaptered, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Charlie Ships It, Cocky Dean, Comfort, Crack, Cute, Cute Castiel/Dean Winchester, Cute Ending, Cutesy, Dean Has Feelings For Castiel, Dean Has a Crush, Dean Saves Castiel, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Dean is Seventeen Years Old, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feelings, Feels, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Good Big Brother Dean, Happy, Happy Ending, High School, High School Castiel/Dean Winchester, High School Student Castiel, High School Student Charlie, High School Student Dean, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, Light Angst, Little Brother Sam, M/M, Male Slash, Maybe - Freeform, Popular Dean, Protective Dean Winchester, Romantic Fluff, Sam Knows, Sam Ships It, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sexual Tension, Shy Castiel, Slash, Supernatural Elements, Teen Castiel, Teen Dean, Teen Dean Winchester, Teenagers, Worried Dean, Young Castiel/Young Dean Winchester, Young Dean Winchester, Young Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-04-13 03:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 36,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4505463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooManyFanficsYouAss/pseuds/TooManyFanficsYouAss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When John told Dean that he and Sam had to attend high school so John could go on a hunt, he never expected it to be this complicated. </p><p>Yet, here he was, sitting next to a gorgeous boy with the bluest eyes imaginable. He never meant for it to go this far, just a little flirting and maybe a hookup. </p><p>However, Dean was under his spell. Knowing he was leaving in only a few weeks, he was reluctant to start a relationship but unable to stay away. They were happy. Until everything fell apart, leaving both boys heartbroken, lost without each other. </p><p>What happens when fate leads them back to each other only ten years later?</p><p>CURRENTLY EDITING THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS. THEY WON'T CHANGE EXCEPT FOR SOME GRAMMAR OR PUNCTUATION ERRORS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The day it all began.

**Author's Note:**

> FOLLOW US ON [TWITTER](https://twitter.com/TooManyFanfics) FOR UPDATES ABOUT BLUE EYES, OTHER FANFICTION AND OUR PERSONAL LIVES. WE FOLLOW EVERYBODY BACK!

“Yes, Dean, It’s necessary.”

“But, dad-”

“Stop complaining and follow my orders. I know what’s best for you and Sam.”

“I’m sure you do,” Dean murmured under his breath.

“What was that?” John asked calmly with a hint of anger lingered to his voice. Dean knew better than to disobey. “I said yes, sir.”  
John only nodded and walked out of the room.

Why would dad put us in school? Dad usually took them with him on a hunt. What’s different this time?

Sam is a smart kid, he’ll do fine, but me? Not so much. I hate school with its boring teachers and homework.

I hope there are some hot girls in that school. That would make the dull place a bit more fun.

That afternoon the Winchesters went to see the apartment John had rented. John turned the key and opened the door.

The apartment was average size with a small living room, containing one couch, a coffee table and a small tv. Next to the living room was the kitchen. The kitchen had the usual counters, dining table and fridge.

The living room and kitchen were one open space without doors, making the apartment seem bigger than it actually was.

Sam and Dean had separate rooms, both with a bathroom that had a shower, toilet and a sink.

Overall the apartment wasn’t so bad. It was a lot better than the lousy motel rooms they usually stayed in. At least, now they had a room to themselves.

“I’m going now, be good you two,” John said smiling at Sam. When he looked at Dean he moved his eyes to the kitchen, hinting he wanted to have a talk.

“Do you remember the rules?” John asked in a hushed but stern voice, hoping Sam wouldn’t hear.

“Yes, sir.”

“And what’s the most important?”

“Keep Sammy safe.”

“Good.”

He nodded at Dean and walked back to the living room, ruffling Sam’s hair. Then he left, leaving the two boys on their own for god knows how long.

“Come on Sammy we have to go, otherwise, you’ll be late,” Dean shouted, grabbing his keys of the Impala he got from John so he had a car.

"I'm here and don't call me Sammy, it's Sam," Sam said, looking stern, irritation clear in his voice.  
"Sure, Sammy," Dean smirked and walked to the door. Sam only sighed and followed his big brother.

Dean shuts off the engine of Baby and Sam immediately stepped out of the car. "My ears are hurting Dean!" Sam said as soon as Dean stepped out as well.  
"Oh come on Sammy, you've got to appreciate ACDC."  
Sam only rolled his eyes at the comment, knowing Dean only liked this kind of music because of his dad.

Yes, he was young, but Sam did notice stuff. Like people said he was a smart kid. He saw how dad treated Dean differently than him and not in a good way. He saw the disappointed looks in Dean's eyes whenever dad gave him no attention again. That's all his brother wanted, some attention. Some love.  
Sam doesn't know how to help Dean, truth is he is scared of dad sometimes. So he knew better than to stand up for Dean.

They entered the school, where a lady was waiting for them with a big smile. "Hello! You must be Sam and Dean Winchester."  
"Yes, we are," Sam answered with a smile as well. He is really excited to go to school, he doesn't like hunting that much.  
"Good! Here are your schedules and this is Charlie, she will show you around." The lady walked away and before them stood a small redheaded girl in a Star Wars shirt.  
"Hi, I'm Charlie, follow me," She said and turned around, walking down the hallway.

"So this is the library," Charlie said, pointing to the entrance of a big room with a maze of bookshelves.  
"Thanks for the tour Charlie, I think I'm going to explore the library a bit before school starts," Sam said looking at the library in excitement.

"You nerd," Dean said playfully. "Jerk."  
"Bitch."  
They both chuckled a bit before Sam waved and walked disappeared into the library.

"Are you guys always like this?" Charlie suddenly asked.  
"Yeah, we're pretty close," Dean said with a small smile on his face.  
Sure, his life was far from ideal, but dad going on hunts brought the two of us closer. And Dean was grateful for that, what can he say? He loved the kid.

"That's cool! Shall we go outside?" Charlie asked, pointing towards the exit. 

"Sure, let's go." Dean followed Charlie outside, talking about many things. Mainly Star Wars since he secretly loved the movies. Charlie is really cool, but she made it quite clear that she likes girls. That's totally fine with Dean since he is Bi himself. He would never tell his dad, though, and he didn't know how Sammy would react.

The bell rung and Charlie stood up from the tree they were sitting under. The tree was really big with the large branches hanging down, so they nearly reached the soft grass. This way the tree was the perfect place for privacy.

"We have to go otherwise we will be late," Charlie said. "What class have you now?"

Dean looked at the schedule he received from the lady at the door. "English."

"With Miss Masters?" Charlie asked overjoyed, looking at Dean with eager eyes.

"Yeah," Dean said not getting Charlie's enthusiasm.

"That means we are in the same class! Come on, follow me." Charlie gripped Dean's wrist and dragged him towards the school. Dean chuckled and followed her inside.

"Okay, we're here and just in time," Charlie said, high fiving Dean.

Dean smiled and walked inside, greeted by a woman that must be his teacher.

"Are you the new student?" The woman asked, looking him straight in the eye. She seemed very strict.

“Yes, I am,” Dean said, nodding at the English teacher. "Dean Winchester.”

“Welcome to our school, let me introduce you,” she said, giving him a small smile, obviously trying to make him feel comfortable.

Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.

After the class had quieted down Miss Masters stood in front of the class and motioned for Dean to come over. "Class, this is Dean Winchester. Be nice to him.”

Dean looked around the class, trying to gauge the class. His class had the usual nerds, jocks, popular girls and the nobody’s. His eyes roamed the seats but stopped when his eyes met deep blue ones, captivating him. He couldn’t tear his gaze away and kept staring, the sound of Miss Masters voice fading into silence.

Dean could finally look away when Miss Masters spoke again. “You can sit over there," she said pointing at an empty seat next to the beautiful boy, Dean had checked out.

Dean smirked and made his way over to “blue eyes”. The nickname he would use until he knew his real name. When he finally reached the table, he pulled the chair back and sat down. He was even more beautiful up close. The boy had jet black hair and chapped lips. The boy’s eyebrows rose as he saw Dean checking him out.

Dean winked, making the boy’s face turn scarlet.

“I’m Dean Winchester.”


	2. Jealous of Angels

“I’m Dean Winchester.” 

“C-Castiel.” Castiel stammered, fidgeting with his fingers.

He is shy, that’s cute and now he finally knows his name. Dean smiled, hoping it would make the boy a bit more comfortable. Castiel just avoided his gaze and focused on the whiteboard, where Miss Masters had written important information about an upcoming assignment.

“You’re going to work in pairs and no you can’t choose. I have already made them.” Miss Masters explained. Everybody groaned as expected, they wanted to work with their best friends. Castiel stayed silent. “The subject has to be about a problem in the modern day society. You will make an essay and a presentation which you of course have to present in class. The presentation has to be at least ten minutes long. Both the essay and presentation are due in six weeks.”

Thinking about presenting in front of the whole class made Castiel shudder. He wasn’t cut out for this.

“Okay, I’m going to tell you the names, after that you go and sit with your partner. No discussions, you can’t switch partners.” Miss Masters said. “Mike and Angela, Warren and Daniel, Blair and Chuck, Charlie and Balthazar, Castiel and Rachel-.”

“Miss! Rachel moved to Canada.” A kid shouted from the back of the classroom.

“Oh yes, I see. Castiel you can pair up with Dean.” Miss Masters concluded and went on with the rest of the list.

Dean wasn’t paying attention anymore, he turned his head and whispered in Castiel’s ear. “Well hello there partner.”

Castiel didn’t respond, but the crimson color rose again, from his neck to his cheeks.

Castiel’s heart was thumping in chest. He wasn’t used to this kind of attention, especially not from hot new guys.

Yes hot, Castiel is gay. They accepted him at home, well, kind of. His brothers Lucifer and Gabriel understood and didn’t judge him. They were just glad he had come out to them.

But Michael was a different story, he couldn’t accept the fact he is gay and didn’t speak to him ever since the day he came out. Castiel wasn’t happy about it, but he was tired. Tired of hiding who he really was.

His friends at school accepted him right away and Castiel was grateful for that. Other people at school didn’t exactly bully him, but there were some kids who are homophobic. Sometimes they yelled word at him like “Freak” or “Faggot”, but Castiel ignored them the best he could. It hurts sometimes, still Castiel kept strong.

“Hey Cas, what are we doing for the assignment” Dean asked, ripping Castiel from his thoughts.

Did Dean just give me a nickname?

“Ehm, how about maybe bullying?” Castiel asked with a small voice, still not looking up. He was always the shy type, even when he was a little kid. His shyness made it hard to make friends in the past and relationships overall.

“That’s a good subject. So my house after school?” Dean smirked, grabbing the back of Castiel’s chair and leaning forward.

Castiel squirmed in his seat and let out a small “Sure.”

The bell rang and most of the students were up and away in seconds. Castiel was one of them. He grabbed his stuff as fast as he could and bolted out of the room, leaving a confused Dean behind.

Dean took his time, sorting out all of his stuff and placing it in his backpack. He walked out of the classroom, hoping he would find Charlie in the sea of people that has formed in the hallways. It wasn’t easy finding her as she was very small, but soon enough he found the tiny redhead standing in front of possibly her locker. 

“Hey Charlie.” Dean said once he arrived by her side. “Where is my locker?”

He showed her the document with his locker number printed in the top left corner. “Oh, you’re down the hall next to the janitor’s closet.” Charlie pointed to a row with bright red lockers not too far from the one we were standing next to.

“Okay, thanks Charlie.” Dean ruffled her hair and quickly walked over to the lockers before Charlie could hit him for messing up her hair.

When Dean was only a few feet away, he saw a familiar mop of hair standing on his toes to reach the highest locker properly. Dean sneaked behind him and inched closer, Castiel’s front still facing the lockers. “Do you need help with that?” Dean whispered, making Castiel jump.

Castiel quickly turned around and his eyes widened. “No thank you.” Castiel said a tad bit sarcastic. He was already so done with Dean.

Dean just chuckled and leaned against a random locker next to Castiel’s, his own locker forgotten.

“So you never actually told me your last name.” Dean said, trying to start a conversation with the beautiful boy.

“Novak.” Castiel plainly answered. He grabbed the last book and closed his locker. He glared up at Dean and turned around placing foot forwards before hesitating. He faced Dean again observing his face. This guy wasn’t just hot, Dean looked like God handcrafted him himself. Castiel instantly fell in love with the cute freckles that dance along his nose and further on his cheeks. His mom used to say freckles were angel kisses.

Is it possible to be jealous of the angels?

He tried to count the freckles, but was interrupted by eighteen. “Like what you see?” Dean asked with a smug smile and mischievous eyes.

Don’t even get Castiel started on his eyes. They were the color of freshly mowed grass, the kind of grass you lay on in the summer to look at the clouds. Castiel could get lost in them forever.

But instead of doing that he ignored Dean’s question and instead tried changing the subject.

“You never actually told me where you live.” Castiel said, his cheeks still heated from Dean’s question.

“Wait for me after school at the entrance.” Dean replied. He walked away, not even waiting for Castiel’s response.

He already knew Castiel would wait for him.


	3. Projects Do Wonders For Your Love Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N before we begin. I had the idea to make a destiel fanfiction based on true life events of me. Because I'm in love with my best friend right now. Yeah, I know. But if you would want to read it please comment. And for now, enjoy the new chapter!

“Wait for me after school at the entrance.” Dean replied. He walked away, not even waiting for Castiel’s response.

He already knew Castiel would wait for him.

***********

He was right.

When Dean’s class was finished and he took the books he needed for homework out of his locker, he walked to the school entrance.  
Before him stood the beautiful blue eyed boy, leaning against the wall next to the doors. The boy was too engulfed in his phone to notice Dean’s arrival.

Dean smirked and shuffled so he was next to him and stepped a few inches closer. “Whatcha doin” Dean whispered in Castiel’s ear.  
Castiel jumped a few feet away from Dean, his heart pounding in his chest. It took him a while to get himself together and when he did, he shot a glare Dean’s way.

“You scared me.” Castiel stated, already getting annoyed with Dean.

“Yeah, I know.” Dean chuckled. “Let’s go.”

Castiel followed Dean to his car, when he spotted a smaller kid sitting on top of the hood. “Sam get off.” Dean shouted, clearly not happy with the kid. Sam jumped off of the car and crossed his arms over his chest.

“What? I had to wait for you and I’m tired.” Sam exclaimed, with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Dean just rolled his eyes and unlocked the car.

“Sammy, this is Cas.” Dean introduced. “And Cas this is Sammy.”

“My name is Sam.” Sam said, shaking Castiel’s hand.

“And my name is Castiel.” Castiel smiled, and Sam smiled back, giving Castiel a nod.

 Castiel opened the passenger’s door. Once they were both seated, Dean started the engine and took off. Dean pressed the play button of the small radio and ear bleeding volume ripped through the silence in the car. “Dean, this is a bit loud.” Castiel spoke, his voice louder so Dean could hear him over the music. Dean saw the shocked face of Castiel and actually felt sorry, so he turned down the volume.

“Sorry.” Dean smiled apologetically and looked over at Castiel, who gave him a small smile. Dean focused back on the road, trying to ignore the small butterflies forming in his stomach at Castiel’s smile.

He wasn’t planning on falling in love, not when he was going to leave in a few weeks. He didn’t want to break Castiel’s heart. And of course he didn’t want to break his own either. Sometimes Dean wished he was normal; with boring parents, normal brother, and friends in general. But with the constant road trip, all of these things seemed impossible.

Deep down, he knew he could fall in love with Castiel, he isn’t yet, but he could. He wished he could, that would be one hell of a relationship. Though he knows he can’t.

_He was doomed._

********

The rest of the ride was in a comfortable silence. The minutes flew by and in no time, they were at Dean’s apartment.

Sam stepped out first and went through the door of the apartment, not waiting for Castiel or Dean. They soon followed, entrancing the small home of the Winchester brothers.

Castiel liked it already; it was not too big, which made the place very homey.

“Do you want something to eat or drink?” Dean asked Castiel. Sam had already disappeared into his room. “No thank you.” Castiel replied, a small smile tugging at his lips. Who knew Dean would be so proper.

“Okay, project then?” Dean asked, already knowing the answer. Castiel just nodded and followed Dean to his room.

Dean’s room was still a bit empty, probably because he just moved here. Castiel couldn’t help but notice there were only two bedrooms in the apartment, where were their parents? Maybe they lived alone? But who would make a kid watch over a smaller kid. He never actually learned Dean’s age, but Castiel guessed he was about seventeen.

The closing of the door broke Castiel out of his thoughts. Castiel turned to Dean who was standing in front of the door. They stared at each together a bit awkwardly, neither of them saying anything, before Dean cleared his throat and picked up his laptop. He walked with it towards his bed and plumped down, making the bed bounce at the force.

“I won’t bite, you know.” Dean joked, gazing up at Castiel who was still standing in the middle of the room not knowing what to do with himself. Castiel hesitated a bit, but still sat down next to Dean. He did make sure there were at least a good 10 inches between them. He didn’t want to make Dean feel uncomfortable.

Dean didn’t seem to notice and typed away on his laptop, looking up information on bullying. Castiel stood up again and grabbed his backpack, containing books on the topic he picked up earlier at the library in his free period.

They worked together in silence for a while, until Dean sighed, claiming he was bored. So they stopped working and decided to play 20 questions.

“You start.” Dean said, making himself comfortable on the bed now that he doesn’t have a laptop on his lap anymore.

“Ehm, why did you move here?” Castiel asked, blushing a little. He didn’t quite know what he could and what he couldn’t ask, maybe there were touchy subjects. He didn’t want to lose Dean know. Castiel liked him and it’s only been a day, go figure.

“My dad got a job here, so we had to move.” Dean explained. Well, at least it was kind of true, it was just a different kind of job.

Castiel gave him a soft smile and nodded, looking at him expectantly. Dean thought for a while, not quite sure what he had to ask. He had way too many questions and couldn’t decide which one. “Do you have a girlfriend?” Dean blurted out, cheeks heating up.

Smooth Dean, really damn smooth.

Castiel’s face turned scarlet, shall he answer with the truth? How would Dean react? Castiel was sure Dean was straight, he saw the winks Dean threw at girls in the hallways of their school.

“I-I’m gay.” Castiel stuttered, tightly closing his eyes, he didn’t want to see Dean’s reaction.

Dean didn’t say anything, he just stood there unable to move with his jaw slack.

_This is the best news I have heard in a while._

Castiel mistook Dean’s silence for bad news, jumped off of the bed and hurried to the door.

“I’ll just go now.” Castiel murmured, and turned the door knob.

Dean could move again and quickly grabbed Castiel’s hand, turning him around against the door.  
Castiel waited for a punch that never came, instead there were soft and gentle words.

“Please don’t go.” Dean spoke, staring into the dazzling blue eyes. He could drown in those and he wouldn’t mind it one bit.

“I’m Bi myself, I won’t judge you Cas.” Dean said, and gently put a hand on Castiel’s cheek. Castiel leaned into the hand, melting at the touch.

Dean leaned in closer, his gaze switching from Castiel’s eyes to his lips. Castiel unconsciously licked his lips, making Dean’s eyes turn a shade darker. No longer looking like freshly mowed grass, but more forest green.

Castiel closed his eyes and Dean was only inches away when suddenly.

“Dean I’m hungry!” Sam voice interrupted the moment, making Dean groan.

“So…” He started. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”


	4. It's Dinner Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner at the Winchester household.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Finally an update!!! YAY! And it's extra long to make up for the long time it has been.

“Dean I’m hungry!” Sam voice interrupted the moment, making Dean groan.

“So…” He started. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

“Sure.” Castiel replied, surprised, he wasn’t expecting that. Dean gave him a small smile and opened his bedroom door, leaving Castiel alone in his room.

Dean headed towards the kitchen, smacking Sam’s head on his way.

“What was that for?” Sam huffed annoyed, rubbing the bow sore spot on his head.

Dean just ignored him and continued his way, not even looking back. Sam rolled his eyes and picked up the book, searching for the page he was reading before Dean rudely smacked him.

Sam knows Dean loves him dearly, so he usually lets these things slide. Dean was having a hard time already, putting him under a huge amount of stress. Sam hates to see his brother this way, but he doesn’t know how to help him. Dean never lets him cook or clean or help him in any way. Constantly assuring him he can do all of it by himself.  
Dean goes through great lengths to make sure Sam has a normal childhood, without all of the hard work. Truth be told, Dean never actually had a childhood. Not really anyways. So he knows what it’s like, and he makes sure Sam doesn’t miss anything. Sam admires him for it.

Castiel had been waiting in Dean’s room for a few moments now, he was still bewildered about what just happened. Did he and Dean just almost kiss?

Cool, attractive, _sexy_ Dean almost kissed average, boring, shy and really awkward Castiel?

Castiel pinched his arm, making sure this was not all just a dream.

Thankfully, it wasn’t.

It hit Castiel that he was taking an awfully long time in this room, Dean was probably wondering where he was. He had to get out of there quick before things become awkward between them. What if Dean thinks he was rummaging through his stuff? That would be horrendous.

Castiel quickly left the room, closing the door behind him. He noticed Sam sitting on the couch, engulfed in a thick, leather bound book. It’s probably best not to disturb him.

He decided he would head to the kitchen and see if Dean needs some help with cooking. Castiel's parents are very busy people, so he learned how to cook for himself and his siblings.

Although his parents accepted him for being gay, Castiel knew they weren't exactly happy either.

With that knowledge Castiel made sure he wasn't a burden and helped out as much as he could.

 

"Hey Cas." Dean said, not turning around. He must've heard the footsteps coming closer.

"Hello Dean, do you need help cooking?" Castiel replied, stepping forward. He kept walking until he was standing next to the green eyed boy, still waiting for an answer.

"Nah, I'm good. But you can keep me company, if you want to." Dean smirked, the mischievous glint in his eyes returning. Castiel blushed even though he had received that same look multiple times.

 

"Y-yeah, sure." Castiel stammered, letting his gaze drift away from Dean and to the recipes book that was lying open on the counter.

 

Dean moved away to grab something out of the fridge, Castiel didn’t want to stand in Deans way, so he went to sit down at the small kitchen table in the middle of the kitchen.

 

The room fell silent, the only thing you could hear was the sound of Dean cutting the vegetables in small bits and the occasional ruffling of the pages of Sam’s book.

 

The silence wasn’t uncomfortable as Castiel feared, it was actually kind of comforting. Like they were a family, getting ready for dinner together. Is it weird to think like that? Probably, but at this moment Castiel didn’t care.

 

“So the stuff is cooking, what do you want to do?” Dean asked, stepping closer towards Castiel.

Castiel tensed in his seat a bit before stammering a small “I don’t know”.

“I think I have a good idea.” Dean smirked, inching even closer. They were now in the same breathing space, their noses almost touching. Castiel could smell the musky scent mixed with leather and gasoline, which was undeniably Dean.  
The small space between them, Dean’s smell and his emerald eyes made Castiel light headed.

Castiel was getting hotter, to the point where he was almost sweating and Dean wasn’t even touching him.

Castiel wanted to lean in, he has never wanted anything so badly in his entire life, but he knew he couldn’t. It would ruin everything for them, everything they haven’t even built up yet.

Like a friendship.

They didn’t even know anything about each other and Castiel was not giving up the chance of figuring out Dean Winchester.

He wanted to learn his secrets and dreams, his deepest thoughts and worries. He wanted to know him inside and out.

Castiel was relieved yet sad when the timer rung, effectively breaking the staring contest between the two teenagers.

Still, the sexual tension did remain and wasn’t going to leave soon. Castiel had figured out that much.

The delicious smell of spaghetti seeped through his nose, making his tummy rumble.

In the meantime, Sam put down his book and rushed to the kitchen.

“Finally!” Sam shouted, startling both Castiel and Dean. “Calm down, Sammy.” Dean sighed, putting down the plates.

Sam took a large bite the moment his plate was in front of him. “It’s Sam.” Sam tried to say with his mouth full of food.

Dean gave him his best bitch face, shutting him up right away, before sitting down next to Castiel.

Castiel took a small bite, nearly burning his tongue. His eyes started to water as he felt a stinging pain on his tongue.

Dean chuckled at Castiel’s red face, before standing up and filling a glass with water. Castiel smiled thankfully as he gulped down the water.

They all continued eating, Castiel more carefully now, when Sam’s question began.

“How old are you?” Sam asked with a curious sparkle in his eyes.

“I’m seventeen.” Castiel answered, with a small smile. He likes Sam, of course not the way he likes Dean, but Sam was wise beyond his age. You could see it in his eyes if you looked long enough.  
Dean’s eyes on the other hand, looked like he has carried the weight of the world, like he has been through so much already in his seventeen years of life. Castiel didn’t pity him, instead he wished he could help Dean carry the weight with him.

Sam kept attacking Castiel with questions about his hobbies, family, favorite color, favorite animals, which Castiel gladly answered.

Dean didn’t say much, he was quietly watching the two of them interact with a fond smile on his lips.

When dinner was finished Castiel helped Dean do the dishes as Sam watched cartoons on the television in the living room. Castiel dried and Dean cleaned, they worked out a pretty good rhythm after the first few dishes.

“I’m sorry about my brother.” Dean began, glancing sideways at Castiel.

“Oh no, that’s fine. I don’t mind.” Castiel replied.

“Well, I’m glad you two are getting along so well.” Dean smiled, but his eyes were not smiling with him. Castiel noticed a hint a jealousy in his eyes and bitterness in his voice.

Castiel didn’t say anything about it, fearing he had imagined it.

When they finished doing the dishes, it was time for Castiel to go home.

“Bye.” Sam waved from the couch, still engulfed in the cartoons playing in front of him, only tearing his gaze away for a small moment to look at Castiel.

Castiel waved back and gave him a small smile.

 “So, where do I take you?” Dean asked, once Castiel has joined him by the front door.

“I’m sorry?”

“Your house, where do you live?” Dean chuckled, watching Castiel’s face go from confusion to blushing from embarrassment. Dean found it quite endearing, but Dean remembered he couldn’t think like that and mentally slapped himself.

“Oh, um, I live right around the corner so…” Castiel replied, fidgeting with his fingers.

“I’ll walk you.” Dean said, giving him a warm smile.

Castiel couldn’t help but smile back.

They walked out of the door, feeling a small breeze brush past them. They walked in silence, too caught up in their own thoughts to actually talk.

Castiel couldn’t stop thinking about the beautiful, freckled boy next to him. It was hard to concentrate on something different when he was walking so close next to him. Castiel could practically feel his body heat.

Before they knew it, they were standing in front of Castiel’s house and they had to say their goodbyes.

“Before you go.” Dean blurted, not exactly planning this. Oh well now he had to go for it.  
“Can I have your number?”

Castiel tried to say something, but Dean quickly interrupted him. “You know with the assignment and stuff.” Dean kept blabbering on.

“Yeah, sure.” Castiel grinned, failing to hide his excitement.

They handed their phones to each other and typed in their numbers.

“Cool.” Dean smiled happily. “I’ll see you at school.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” Castiel replied and turned the key to his house. Dean waited until he was gone and walked back to his own house.

When he came through the door, he was greeted by Sam’s smug face.

“So, Castiel seems like a cool guy.” Sam smirked, knowing full well this would piss Dean off. He liked to call it payback for the smack against his head.

“Yeah.” Dean replied, sounding like a schoolgirl with a crush.

He gave Sam his best bitch face as his little brother snickered behind his hand. He went to his bedroom and let himself fall on top of his bed.

_What is happening to me?!_


	5. Rule Number 1: Never Hit Send Too Soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Freckles = Dean, Blue Eyes = Castiel and the sentences in bold are the texts they send to each other (It’s pretty clear when you read it).

**_A/N Freckles = Dean, Blue Eyes = Castiel and the sentences in bold are the texts they send to each other (It’s pretty clear when you read it)._ **

Dean woke up to his alarm, actually feeling refreshed and happy. Well, as happy as you can be in the morning. He still isn’t a morning person, nor will he ever be. Still, it was better than his usual morning, when Dean would feel like he got hit by a car.

Dean got out of bed and grabbed jeans, a plain white shirt combined with his usual leather jacket, hoping he could maintain “the bad boy” reputation he had at every school he went to.

He checked his phone, praying John hasn't called or texted him, instead he got a text from Cas.

**Hello Dean, I just wanted to say that I had fun yesterday and thank you for dinner.**

**-Castiel**

Dean smiled, well actually beamed, at the text as he quickly replied.

**Hiya Cas, no problem! You can come over anytime. See you at school.**

**-Dean**

Castiel is adorable.

_Don’t think like that! Just because he is gay doesn’t mean he’s into you._

However, not even his own mind could make the butterflies go away. They butterflies were probably nested inside his tummy, not planning on leaving. Dean pushed the thoughts away and called out to his little brother.

“Sam! Are you up?” Dean shouted, knowing Sam would be able to hear him through the paper thin walls. He heard a faint “yes” and decided on making breakfast as it was only a quarter past seven.

Right when Dean finished mixing up the batter, Sam came out of his room with a grumpy expression on his face.

“Good morning Sammy!” Dean sang, putting some butter in the pan.

“Why are you so cheerful?” Sam asked skeptically with one eyebrow raised.

“No reason.” Dean lied, knowing full well his mood was affected by Castiel, in the best way possible.

“It’s because of Cas, isn’t it?” Sam questioned, already knowing the answer. He’s happy that his brother is happy, truth be told he hasn’t seen Dean this happy in months. Dean’s usual dull eyes are now shining. The last time Sam saw a shine in Dean’s eyes was when they sneaked out on the fourth of July to set off fireworks.

“Shut up.”

They arrived at school, still bickering, but now about something else.

“We are so late.”

“Calm down Sammy.”

“Do. Not. Call. Me. Sammy.”

“Of course Sammy.”

“ARGH you’re so annoying. And it’s your fault we’re late”

“I didn’t make those pancakes for nothing!”

Sam sighed and got out of Baby, yelling a quick bye and ran off towards school. They were kind of late, but hey, those pancakes were heavenly and Dean wasn’t going to waste them. Not that he actually cared if he was late or not, he was leaving soon anyway.

That’s when it hit him, he was leaving and not coming back. He was probably not going to see Cas again, or even Charlie. He likes it here and he sure as hell doesn’t want to go.

Dean was torn between ignoring Cas for his sake, or continue to be his friend for his own sake. Then he remembered the almost kisses and his beautiful eyes.

_I can’t stay away from him._

Dean only met the guy yesterday and he already felt too much for him. These feelings were only going to grow stronger with every passing day and it felt like Dean was on a roller coaster. Scared, but excited.

He checked the time on his phone, he was only 5 minutes late, so he slowly made his way to the classroom.

He arrived at his classroom and walked inside, throwing an apologetic smile at Miss Masters.

“You’re late, don’t let it happen again.” Miss Masters said sternly, focusing her attention back to the book she was currently reading.

Dean walked passed a few girls, who giggled once he laid eyes upon them. They were all in tiny cheerleader outfits, giving him flirtatious looks. One girl bit her lip and winked at him.  Dean presumed she was the Queen Bee, also known as Lisa. He heard quite a few about her already, even when it was only his second day. She’s very beautiful with long dark hair and chocolate brown eyes.

Still, nothing beats the stunning blue eyes of Castiel.

Dean smirked at her and took his seat next to Castiel, who didn’t even look at him. Has he done something wrong?

“Hey Cas, what’s up?” Dean asked, with a slight hint of worry in his voice, hoping Castiel wouldn’t notice.

“The sky.” Castiel deadpanned, still not looking up at him. Dean chuckled and leaned in closer, wanting Castiel’s attention.

“Funny, angel.” He whispered in Castiel’s ear.

Castiel shivered at the warm breath against his ear and finally met his gaze.

“Why are you calling me angel?” Castiel asked, confused, with the cutest head tilt Dean has ever seen.

“Because you look like one, angel.” Dean winked, making Castiel blush a scarlet red.

They spend the rest of the class working on their project. Castiel noticed how Dean always seemed to lean a little bit closer, making it hard to concentrate.

Castiel was relieved and sad when Miss Masters dismissed them. He walked to his locker and took out his books for the next class. He and Dean don’t have the following class together, but they found a way to communicate anyways.

**From Freckles:**

**I’m bored. Tell me why we can’t skip class again.**

Castiel smiled, sneakily hiding his phone in his lap under the table.

**From Blue Eyes:**

**Because, Dean, I’m not the kind of person who does these kind of things.**

**From Freckles:**

**What are you afraid of?**

**From Blue Eyes:**

**Oh, I don’t know, getting caught maybe.**

**From Freckles:**

**Fine, but if I’m bored to death, it’s your fault.**

Castiel laughed out loud at this, quickly looking around and hoping nobody noticed.

**From Freckles:**

**So, do you want to have lunch together?**

Dean was nervous, even though having lunch together doesn’t mean anything. Friends have lunch together.

**From Blue Eyes:**

**I've already made plans with my friends.**

Shit, he had hit send too quickly. Castiel panicked even more when he saw Dean’s reply.

**From Freckles:**

Dean felt his heart break, just a little, when he read the text. Maybe he came off too strong and scared the beautiful boy off. He has ruined everything. Dean almost didn’t want to read the incoming text when he felt the familiar buzz of his phone, but looked anyways. How bad could it be?

**From Blue Eyes:**

**But you can join us if you want?**

Castiel quickly sends after Dean’s text, he has never typed that fast in his life.

**From Freckles:**

**Sure, I’ll meet you by your locker.**

Dean smiled, replying Castiel’s text.

Maybe not everything is ruined.


	6. So... How about a date? Part 1 of 2

**From Blue Eyes:**

**But you can join us if you want?**

Castiel quickly sends after Dean’s text, he has never typed that fast in his life.

**From Freckles:**

**Sure, I’ll meet you by your locker.**

Dean smiled, replying Castiel’s text.

Maybe not everything is ruined.

**********

Dean found Castiel by his locker, getting books out of his bag and placing it in his organized locker.

“Guess who?” Dean asked huskily after placing his hands before his eyes, making Castiel freeze instantly. However Castiel quickly recognized the voice.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel responded, closing his locker and turning around. He was now facing Dean and even though he was getting used to his looks, Dean took his breath away every time.

“You’re no fun.” Dean pouted, almost making Castiel groan. Oh, how he wanted to kiss that adorable pout on his face. Instead, he walked past him, no longer trapped between the lockers and Dean’s body, scolding himself for the thoughts popping into his head. What if he slips up when Dean is around, he will be losing a potential friend. Not that he doesn’t have any friends, he just doesn’t want to ruin this one.

Of course Castiel wanted more than just friends, but he didn’t know how Dean felt about his and he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask. Too many risks.

They finally reached the cafeteria that was placed on the other side of the school. Castiel easily spotted his friends sitting at a table near the doors leading outside. Sometimes they sat outside, eating under a large willow tree in the shadows. Today was too cold to sit outside so they were forced indoors.

Instead of going to the group, he took Dean to the food section, figuring he must be hungry. Today was pizza day so the food section was crazy busy, students everywhere trying to get a slice of pizza. Castiel wasn’t fan of larger groups of people, he would feel claustrophobic surrounded by walls of people. Like he couldn’t get out if he wanted to. His breathing quickened and his eyes darted around, looking for an opening. 

Luckily he had Dean, somehow grounding him with only grabbing his hand so they wouldn’t get separated. His breathing slowed down again, returning back to normal. Dean had a great impact on Castiel without even knowing.

“Are you okay?” A deep concerned voice asked him. Castiel focused his gaze on Dean, noticing the frown and remembering he had to actually answer instead of staring at him.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” Castiel tried with a not convincing smile on his face. Castiel’s cheeks turned scarlet red when he looked down, seeing their intertwined hands. Either Dean didn’t notice or Dean didn’t care, but he pulled Castiel along to the long line that formed.

After about 10 minutes of waiting and paying for their food, they were headed to Castiel’s friends. Dean wasn’t shy and he could easily talk to everybody, but right now? He felt nervous. He wanted to impress Castiel’s friends, he actually needed them to like him. 

He has only known Castiel for a few days and he knew his dad won’t approve of a relationship like this and it wasn’t fair for Castiel, Dean was going to leave in a short time and break his heart.

However, Dean needed Castiel.

Dean was going to ask Castiel on a date. He searched the internet for date locations as Dean is more of a one night stand type of guy. Some girly site suggested a picnic, so Dean searched around and spotted the perfect picnic place. It was a large field with beautiful flowers and most importantly hidden by trees, blocking the rest of the world.

“Hi Dean!” Charlie waved excitedly once they arrived. She was already stealing a chair from another table for Dean to sit on. They had already reserved one for Castiel.

“Do you know her?” Castiel asked, confusion clear in his eyes.

“Yeah, she is the one who showed me around the school.” Dean replied, smiling brightly. He already felt a bit more comfortable, at least knows someone.

“Hi, I’m Jo!” A quirky blonde said, waving a little before turning back to her phone.

“And this is Kevin.” Charlie said, nudging an Asian kid with her elbow. He was engulfed in a book, only looking up to nod.

“He’s not rude or shy, just off into his own little world.” Charlie explained and motioned for Dean to sit down between her and Castiel.

“Do you like it here?” Charlies asked with her mouth full of pizza. Castiel crinkled his nose in distaste, but knew better than to say something.

“Yeah, I do actually.” Dean beamed. He really liked it here, he made friends already and then there was Cas.

Dean dreaded the day they were leaving, he knew he couldn’t stop it from happening. He wishes he could, however, with the life he lives? There is only surviving, doing the job. There’s no time for luxuries or feelings.

Lunch was over quicker than Dean would’ve liked. Jo and Kevin seemed really cool and he enjoyed himself a lot. Dean would have never thought he was going to make friends at this school. When his father told him he had to go here, he hated it. After all, every school he has been to so far wasn’t fun. He was always the loner, no friends to guide him. Yes, he made out with a lot of girls (and sometimes even guys) in the janitor closet, but that didn’t mean they would stick around.

And now he met Castiel. He’s not going to have secret make out sessions in closets anymore. All that mattered was the beautiful blue eyed boy walking next to him. Of course he saw the winks and stares of that girl Lisa. He knows he would’ve made out with her already if it wasn’t for Cas. Now he doesn’t even react, he just pretends he didn’t see and looks the other way.

They stopped at Castiel’s locker like usual and Dean thought this would be the perfect time to ask Castiel for their first date.

“Hey Cas?”

_Well, it’s now or never._

 “Yes Dean?” Castiel didn’t even turn around, not expecting what would come.

“Do you want to go out with me?” Dean asked, his cheeks heating up. “A-as in a d-date, I guess.”

“What?!” Castiel exclaimed, hitting his head on the door of his locker as he was turning around to look at Dean.

His hand instantly grabbed his head as he lunged over in pain.

“Are you okay?” A worried Dean asked, stepping closer to get a better look at the damage.

“Y-yeah, fine.” Castiel murmured, rubbing his head. They were silent for a while, just watching each other. Eyes roaming over their bodies and faces, eventually locking their gazes together.

“So, a date huh?” Castiel asked, breaking the intense staring. It wasn’t because he felt awkward, truth is, he never really felt awkward with Dean. Sure, he was still a little shy, but never awkward.

He just felt at ease.

“Well, yeah. I mean, if you’re up for it. You don’t have to, you know? It’s not like I can make you, but it would be very nice if you would go out with me. But don’t feel pressured okay?” Dean babbled. It seemed like his waterfall of words kept flowing. Castiel chuckled behind his hand.

_God he’s cute._

“I really don’t want to pressure you, I’m not that kind of guy-.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“Wait, you will?”

“Yes Dean I will.” Castiel smiled, rolling his eyes at the same time. It was like Dean couldn’t believe Castiel would accept; like it was a dream come true.

Dean smiled so big Castiel was afraid his face might split in two.

“What about tonight at 7, maybe?” Dean asked hopefully, he already had plans so if he skipped his last period he would have plenty of time to make it happen.

“Sure.” Castiel smiled softly, noticing the way Dean’s eyes glistered at the news.

“Okay, I’ll see you then!” Dean cheered and walked off to his own locker.

_He was starting to get nervous already._


	7. So... How about a date? Part 2 of 2

“What about tonight at 7, maybe?” Dean asked hopefully, he already had plans so if he skipped his last period he would have plenty of time to make it happen.

“Sure.” Castiel smiled softly, noticing the way Dean’s eyes glistered at the news.

“Okay, I’ll see you then!” Dean cheered and walked off to his own locker.

_He was starting to get nervous already._

**********

Dean lit the last candle, hoping the wind won’t blow it out. Luckily it wasn’t that windy in the field, as it was surrounded by trees. The trees protected them from the wind or the cold. It was just the end of the summer, so the flowers were still beautifully bloomed. Every inch of the field was covered in white flowers Dean didn’t know the name of. They were beautiful none the less.

Dean looked back one more time, making sure everything is perfectly in place. Satisfied with his work, Dean turned around and walked through the trees on a small path leading back to where he parked Baby.

The nervousness didn’t fade, it only got worse. This was his only chance and wasn’t going to ruin it. Of course he was terrified he may say something wrong, or have nothing to say at all. The awkward silences that would follow, Dean pushed that back into a far corner of his mind. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the negative thoughts and started Baby.

_It was now or never._

Meanwhile, Castiel was sitting at the dinner table waiting for Dean. In only a few minutes, hopefully, Dean was going to ring the bell. Castiel wasn’t sure if he was ready yet. He tried to come up with some conversation topics in his head, but gave up after a while. He wasn’t supposed to practice this kind of stuff.

Earlier Castiel came home and finished his homework, then (after standing in front of the mirror for an eternity) he picked out an ocean blue button-up that matched his eyes and a black skinny jeans.

Castiel was afraid he was either overdressed or underdressed. Dean never told him where they would go and it made Castiel anxious. _If we are ever going on a second date, I’m picking the location._

The doorbell finally ringed and Castiel shot up and ran to the door. Somehow, Gabriel beat him to it.

“So, you are the guy who is taking my little brother, Cassie on a date?” Gabriel asked with one single eyebrow raised.

Castiel internally groaned and rolled his eyes. He tried pushing Gabriel out of the way, but Gabriel wouldn’t budge.

“Y-yeah, I am.” Dean stammered eyes quickly averting from Gabriel to Castiel. Dean threw him a helpless glance, practically begging him to jump in and help.

“If you ever hurt him, I will kill you slowly, then find a way to bring you back to life and kill you again even slower. Just so you know.” Gabriel smirked with evil eyes and went back up the stairs.

Dean looked terrified, his jaw slack, still processing what just happened.

“Are you okay Dean?” Castiel asked, stepping forward so he was standing in front of Dean now.

“I’m fine, your brother is a bit…” Dean began, but didn’t finish his sentence.

“Overprotective, yes, I know.” Castiel chuckled with a fond smile on his face. You’ve got to love Gabe.

“Shall we go then?”

“Yes, we shall. Oh, and Cas?”

“Yes?”

“You look beautiful.” Dean smiled. Castiel really did look beautiful that evening, even more beautiful than he looks at school. Dean didn’t think that was possible, but Castiel standing in front of him, now that was a sight.

The blue button-up matched his eyes perfectly and for some reason made his eyes even look bluer. The black skinny jeans hugged his legs in the most breathtaking way.

Dean opened the car door for Castiel like the gentleman he was and stepped in himself. Dean drove them to the field, while Castiel kept asking where they were going. Dean wouldn’t have it though, and kept quiet. He still chuckled every time Castiel asked him impatiently, he is adorable when he is frustrated. Dean almost wanted to kiss the pout right off his face, but stayed put, gripping the wheel tightly instead.

Soon they arrived and Dean pulled a blindfold out of his pocket.

“Really, Dean?” Castiel asked, disbelief clear on his face.

“Yes, you have to. Turn around.” Dean said softly, gently wrapping and tying up the blindfold as soon as Castiel faced the other way.

Dean lead Castiel down the pathway and into the huge field, the sun was setting now and the blue-orange sky made it even more magical.

Dean untied the blindfold and cautiously looked at Castiel who was very quiet.

“So, what do you think?” Dean asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“It’s stunning.” Castiel said in awe. He couldn’t believe Dean would actually do this for him, it’s perfect in every way.

“Let’s eat.” Dean smiled once he was reassured Castiel liked what Dean had set out for him.

Dean took the picnic basket out of the trunk of Baby and walked to the blanket he laid out for them. He placed the basket on the ground and opened it, taking out the items in it.

There were many sandwiches and lemonade, of course he also had an apple pie he couldn’t resist buying from the small bakery in town.

They ate their sandwiches and shared the apple pie in peace with a little bit of small talk, watching the sun set completely leaving only the darkness of the night. The stars were visible now, so they lay down and counted them.

“How did your parents react, you know, when you came out?” Dean asked, turning his head so he was now facing Castiel. Castiel turned his head as well and studied Dean’s face.

“They reacted well considering they’re religious. My brothers Gabriel and Lucifer were glad I told them, they were happy I trusted them enough to come out to them. My brother Michael is a whole different story.” Castiel sighed.   
“He’s very religious and said I was the “Anti-Christ”, he never liked gay people and I knew that. I was just really tired of hiding who I was and wasn’t able to live in a lie anymore. Pretending I was going to marry a nice girl and have a few kids. That life just isn’t for me.”

“You’re really strong Cas, I admire you for that you know. Coming out, living the life you want. As for me, I haven’t told my father yet. I guess I’m too scared. He also really wants me to work in the family business, but I don’t want that. I want to be a mechanic, fixing up cars and working in a garage. That’s my dream.”

“Maybe you can still fulfill your dreams.” Castiel tried.

“Maybe…” Dean trailed off, looking back up to the sky.

Castiel also lay down and pointed at the stars and constellations. Somewhere in the middle of all that, Castiel found Dean’s hand and held it until they left.

It was getting way too cold now to stay outside, it was time to take Castiel home.

Castiel felt warm and safe when he held Dean’s hand, now he feels cold again. As if Dean read his thoughts, he placed a warm hand in his and Castiel felt good again.

The date went surprisingly well with no awkward silences or wrong words. It was as if they had known each other since birth and both of them couldn’t have been happier than they were now.

******

Dean stopped in front of Castiel’s house and turned off the engine.

“I had fun today.” Dean blurted, hating himself for doing so instantly.

“Yeah, me too. It was kind of perfect. Thank you Dean.” Castiel smiled and leaned over, placing a small kiss on Dean’s cheek. Dean blushed almost instantly and gave Castiel a big goofy grin.

Castiel stepped out of the car, leaving a flustered Dean behind who was unable to move. Before Castiel walked into his house, he turned around one last time and waved.

Dean could only wave back and watch Castiel walk inside. He placed a hand over his cheeks, still feeling Castiel’s lips on his cheek.

Once Dean was out of his shocked state he drove home and ignored Sam’s mocking as usual when he walked in.

“I’m going to bed now, Goodnight Sammy.” Dean said, ruffling Sam’s hair.

“Dreaming about your boyfriend?” Sam mocked with a smirk, fixing his hair.

“Dreaming about punching you in the face, that’s for sure.” Dean grinned when he saw Sam’s annoyed look.

“But really Dean, besides me joking about you and Cas, I’m really happy for you. You deserve it.” Sam smiled a genuine smile and hugged his brother, on his way to his own bedroom as well.

“Thanks Sammy.” Dean murmured hugging back tightly.

Maybe he did deserve this.


	8. What did I do wrong?

Dean woke up to his alarm, a smile forming on his face when memories from the night before came flooding back. If he thought about it hard enough, he could still feel the warm, soft lips of Castiel on his cheek. He unconsciously brought his hand to the said place, but snapped out of it quickly. Dean shook his head, this boy was already 24/7 on his mind. And although Dean didn’t mind that very much, there was a bitter thought behind it.

Dean was going to break Castiel’s heart, sooner or later. He wasn’t going to stay in this high school or even this town forever. They will leave in what two weeks? It still felt bad to hurt Castiel’s feelings, but Dean just couldn’t stay away. With Castiel he felt so… different. Like he didn’t always need his guard up or pretend to be someone he was not. Of course he couldn’t tell Cas about his hunting life, that would put Cas in danger. And knowing John’s temper, it would put Dean in danger too.

Dean wished he could tell him, however, he already knew how this was going to play out. Castiel would either leave him, call him a freak or wouldn’t believe him. Dean couldn’t figure out which one was the worst that could happen. Maybe a combination of all three.

Despite his doubts and fears, Dean tried to think of the good stuff. Maybe they would run away together and buy a hidden cabin in the woods. Maybe they could move to another country, where his dad could never find him. Dean tried to see everything the positive way, he wasn’t going to let his doubts ruin his day. Besides, he was going to see Cas again in less than an hour. That counted for something.

_He was already whipped._

After Dean did his daily routine of showering, dressing and brushing his teeth, he finally made his way into the living room. He easily spotted his grumpy little brother, eating a delicious looking sandwich. Dean’s mouth watered at the sight.

“Hey Sammy, make one for me will you?”

“If you let me choose the music on our way to school, sure.” Sam smirked.

“Never mind.” Dean mumbled sourly, now he had to make his own breakfast. Dean walked over to the fridge and took out the stuff he needed to make his sandwich. While he was busy making one, Sam annoyed him with questions like only a younger sibling could.

“So you and Cas huh?” Sam nonchalantly said, after taking another bite of his sandwich.

“What about us?” Dean groaned, already knowing where this was heading.

“Are you in love with him?” Sam asked, laughing when he saw Dean dropping his knife in surprise.

“SAM” Dean screamed, his cheeks heating up. Truth is, he didn’t know. Sure, he liked the guy and yes, he definitely felt butterflies the moment Cas kissed his cheeks, but was he in love? Or is it just a mere crush? How was he supposed to know when he never had been in love before?

Sam was silent after Dean’s outburst, giving him time to think about this. Sam would love to see Dean truly happy for a change, and somehow Castiel helped him with that. Dean was the brooding type, incapable of happiness with his type of life. Sam wanted to get out of hunting, once he was old enough to leave and never come back. However, his brother was a whole other story. Dean was loyal to their father, no matter what happened. Their father could throw Dean around and he would always go back to him. It made Sam feel uneasy. Sam hoped Cas was the person to change all of that, to make Dean realize what kind of life he could lead. And then they could run away, leave their present life forever, to never return.

*****

Castiel spotted Dean easily, even though the hall was crowded. It seemed like all attention was drawn to Dean’s freckled face and mesmerizing green eyes. It’s not like Castiel blamed them, although he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy when he saw Lisa biting her bottom lip while looking at him. Of course Dean, the massive flirt that he is, winked at her with a sly grin on his face.

Has he forgotten yesterday already? Was it a bad move to kiss him? Castiel thought whilst panicking. He was already on edge today as he saw the date on the calendar this morning. They had their presentation tomorrow and Castiel had to get a good grade, his parent are counting on it.

Castiel moved through the sea of students, trying to get closer to Dean. It felt like it was impossible, there were students everywhere and Castiel was getting light headed. He never liked being in large crowds, it felt like he couldn’t breathe. All he could see was student everywhere with no possible escape. He pushed some people away and slipped through every gap he could find. Castiel eventually managed to get through the people, but tripped when he got out.

Well, almost tripped.

If it wasn’t for two strong arms around his waist, holding him up. Castiel was hugged to the firm chest of his savior and felt his breath on his neck.

“Don’t fall.” His huskily breathed in his ear, making tiny shivers run down his back. Castiel felt a tiny blush on his cheeks. He awkwardly tried to find his footing and once he placed his feet firmly on the ground, he turned around. Of course Dean would be the one to save him. Unfortunately Castiel blushed even harder when he looked at the arms that held him up a few seconds ago. You could see the muscles, clear through his tight shirt.

_Oh, how he would love to run his hands over them._

But he couldn’t think like that. Dean flirted with Lisa. _The_ Lisa. He wasn’t going to be able to compete with her. She’s beautiful, he could tell even though he is gay.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked kindly, holding his hand out in case Castiel was going to fall again. Castiel thought he saw a hint of worry in his eyes, but he probably just imagined it.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Listen, we are behind on our project and we have the presentations tomorrow. We are not going to be able to finish it in time. What are we going to do?” Castiel asked anxiously. He can’t afford a bad grade. He was a straight A student and his parents expected nothing less.

“Dude, chill, we just have to pull an all-nighter. My place after school?” Dean smiled. Not minding the time he had to spend with Castiel.

“Okay, sounds like a plan.”

*****

School went by slowly, maybe because Dean couldn’t wait for it to be over. Every minute was a minute closer to Castiel’s company, which he enjoyed greatly. However, Dean was also a bit worried. Castiel seemed very distant compared to last night when he kissed him. Maybe he regretted kissing him, even though it was only on the cheek. Dean thought the date went well. He shared classes with Castiel, but Cas barely talked to him. Only focusing on the board, ignoring him when he said something. The one time Cas did face him, he told Dean to be quiet because he was “paying attention”, although Dean knew it was a lie. He had an absent look on his face, like he was daydreaming all the time. Even during lunch, he wouldn’t speak, just staring at his plate and playing with his food.

Finally the bell rang and his last class was over. He didn’t share this one with Cas so he decided to wait for him by the entrance. Dean strolled to the exit, knowing Cas well enough to know that he was stopping by his locker first.

Castiel showed up after a few minutes of waiting, only nodding at Dean before following him to his car.

_This was going to be a long night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is probably going up tomorrow to say sorry for updating so slowly!


	9. Yay, sleepover!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated this fic as much as I would like, so here is the next chapter as an apology for my slow updates.

Castiel showed up after a few minutes of waiting, only nodding at Dean before following him to his car.

_This was going to be a long night._

******

“Still not talking to me?” Dean asked, exasperated, eyeing Castiel every so often. Castiel only shrugged and continued staring out of his window. Dean sighed, what was his problem? One moment he was happy and smiling and _kissing_ me and the next moment he basically ignores me.

Dean was relieved once he saw his apartment, the awkward tension was killing him. He felt lonely without Cas talking to him. Sure, he was currently sitting next to him, but it felt like a wall formed between them. A wall that was not going to be easy to break.

But he had to try.

Dean shut off the engine and stepped out of his car, slamming the car door shut. It was harder than he intended on doing, but he was way too irritated to actually care.

Castiel slumped behind him, averting his gaze to the ground. Just looking at Dean hurt him. He was trying to create some distance, to get over this crush he had and move on with his life. But Dean was making it hard on him. How do you kill a feeling?

Dean held the door open for Castiel and shut it once he was inside as well. They both took off their jackets and hung them on the coat rack next to the door.

“Want something to drink or eat?” Dean asked as nice as he could. He was determined to find out what was going on, but was still hurt and no way he could hide that. Not from Cas anyway. It was like Castiel always knew what was going on in his mind, what he felt. Normally, this was a blessing. This way Dean didn’t actually have to say things out loud. Now, it was a curse.

“Just some water please.” Castiel murmured, still not meeting Dean’s eyes, instead he studied everything else. The color of the walls, the brown color of the chairs he noticed through the open door leading to the kitchen. Anything to not look him in the eyes. Castiel was sure that once he did, he couldn’t look away.

Dean went to the kitchen to get his water, when Castiel realized someone was missing. “Where’s Sam?” Castiel asked, making his way over to Dean who was filling a glass at the counter.

“He’s at a friend’s house.” Dean replied, a bit disappointed that of all things Sam was their topic of conversation. However, Dean was not complaining, talking to him was already exceeding his expectations. At least there was no complete silence.

“Want to head upstairs to work on the project?” Dean asked, handing Castiel his water.

“Sure.” Castiel answered, sparks of electricity coming alive in his fingertips, where he accidentally touched Dean.

*****

Dean couldn’t concentrate, not one bit. His gaze wandered from his laptop over to the blue eyed boy sitting at his desk. Castiel was reading the books he picked up from the library about their topic “bullying”. Dean could see the way he was fidgeting with the corners of the book, licking and biting his lips every so often. He was teasing him, probably without even knowing he did. This only frustrated Dean further.

A half hour passed by and Dean was having enough of it. He needed answers, he needed to know what he did wrong and how he could fix it. He was not ready to give up Castiel yet.

“What did I do wrong?” Dean suddenly blurted.

 _Wow, subtle._ Dean thought, angry at himself for starting the conversation like that. But it did caught Castiel’s attention. Castiel’s blue eyes met his green ones, but something was different. His blue eyes didn’t hold that usual spark, that tiny glint of happiness. It was like all life was sucked out of them. The only way Dean could describe his eyes as was hurt. Hurt and sad. Dean instantly wanted to kill the person who did that to him, but to be fair? That person was probably Dean himself.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Castiel said, trying to smile convincingly, but it didn’t work. His smile faltered and he quickly looked down, feeling the tears burn behind his eyes.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, whatever you do, don’t cry.

Dean quickly walked over to Castiel and crouched down in front of him.

“Hey, please don’t cry. Just talk to me.” Dean softly said, gently placing his hands on top of Castiel’s. “What happened?”

“You happened! Don’t you see? I thought you felt something, anything for me. But I guess you don’t. Can we just finish this stupid project so I can go home?” Castiel snapped, locking eyes with Dean instantly. His eyes were fierce now, anger dominating his eyes now. Still, there was a hint of sadness lingered to his blue orbs that made Dean’s heart clench.

“Cas, I do feel something for you. What makes you say I don’t?” Dean asked, confused with this whole situation. He took him out on a date, the first date Dean ever had. He wouldn’t do that for just anybody.

“Lisa.” Castiel spat, unable to say anything else. Luckily, he didn’t need to. Dean understood immediately.

 

“Cas, I don’t care about Lisa, I care about you. And I sure as hell don’t have feelings for her.” Dean almost begged, praying Castiel would understand. He squeezed Castiel’s hands even tighter, holding on to them for dear life. Scared, Castiel might run away and disappear if he didn’t believe him.

“Why?” Castiel mumbled, one single tear falling from his eyes and down his cheek. Dean moved his hand from Castiel’s and brought it to his cheek. He wiped the tear away with his thumb and smiled softly.

“Why what?”

“Why me? You can get anyone you want, boys and girls. Lisa is practically throwing herself at you. How come you don’t choose her? I mean she’s hot, even I can see that. You don’t have to do this out of pity. I fully understand if you want to get rid of me.”

“Cas, what are you talking about.” Dean asked shocked, his eyes bulging out. “I don’t pity you, I do this because I like you. Because I can see myself falling in love with you. I know we are not that far yet, to call it love. I mean, we only know each other for a very short time, but I would choose you over Lisa any day. Yes, she is hot, but you, you are beautiful. Don’t ever think I want to get rid of you or choose you over Lisa. That is complete bullshit, okay?” Dean ranted, finally letting all of his feelings out. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off of him, especially when he saw Castiel smile.

“Okay Dean, I believe you.”

*****

They worked a little while longer, both of their minds peaceful again. There was no awkward silence, they were talking like they had known each other for years.

“I can’t believe Gabriel actually filled your whole room with water balloons, well actually I kind of do. How did he even do that?” Dean laughed, taking a break from typing. His muscles ached so he stood up and stretch his back, hands in the air.

“I have no idea.” Castiel smiled, even though Gabriel was a big pain in the ass, he was fond of his brother.

Castiel eyed Dean, who got up and stretched, hi shirt riding up and revealing a small stripe of skin. All of his thoughts were out of his head, leaving him blank, just staring at the muscles underneath his shirt. Dean noticed and smirked, but decided not to comment on it.

“Do you want to order pizza?”

“Yes, I’d like that.”

*****

After they finished eating, they headed to Dean’s room. To their dismay, they still had to work on their project, otherwise it wouldn’t be finished the next morning.

For hours they worked hard and concentrated. Maybe a little bit too concentrated, because when Dean looked at his clock on the wall, it was almost one am.

“Ehm Cas, It’s really late, so… Do you maybe want to stay? You can sleep in my bed and I will sleep on the couch so don’t worry about that.” Dean stammered, his cheeks heating up.

He definitely was not good at this.

“Y-yes, if I’m not too much of a bother. But ehm Dean, the couch is probably not really comfy.” Castiel mumbled the last part, his head turning scarlet. The blush spread to his neck and he quickly looked away and focused on a wall instead.

“Yeah, well, I’ll manage. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Dean said truthfully, although he wouldn’t mind having Castiel in his bed, he didn’t want to scare him off.

“I’m not! I mean, your bed is big enough for both of us?” Castiel said, not sure how Dean would respond. Maybe Dean was the one not comfortable laying with him in bed.

“Okay, I guess, if you’re sure.”

“I am.”

And with that Dean turned to his closet and grabbed some clothes for Castiel. He picked black sweat pants that were a bit too small for him, and his favorite ACDC shirt he bought at a concert one time. He snuck out because he always wanted to see one of his favorite bands live and the lecture from his father was definitely worth it. It was one of the best nights in his life.

Dean shooed Castiel to his bathroom before picking out night wear for himself as well. He went with sweatpants and a plain white shirt. He quickly dressed himself in his bedroom. Dean was about to pull his shirt over his head before Cas walked in eyeing him up and down. Once he realized what he was doing, he turned a dark red, immediately staring at the ground. Dean smirked at Castiel checking him out, feeling pretty good about himself.

“You can lie in the bed, I’ll follow you after I turn off the light, okay?”

“Okay Dean.”

Dean turned off the light and found his bed with a bit of a struggle. Fortunately, he made it without hurting himself or making fool of himself. He pulled his blankets back and slid underneath the cover. He could feel Castiel’s warmth radiating off of him. All he wanted to do was snuggle Castiel closer, keep him in his arms forever. But once his eyes were used to the dark, he could only see Castiel’s back.

Dean sighed and turned around as well, this was not what he was hoping for.

*****

He couldn’t sleep. He tried to, but he was wide awake. Dean watched Castiel’s sleeping form, his chest moving up and down slowly. Castiel had turned to lay on his back in his sleep, so Dean could see his features perfectly clear and they were pretty distracting.

Dean turned so he was lying on his side, facing Castiel properly now. Castiel opened his eyes slowly, rubbing the sleep out them with clenched fists.

_God, he is adorable._

“Why are you still awake?” Castiel asked with a gravelly voice. It was one of the sexiest things Dean has ever heard.

“Can’t sleep.” Dean replied, shifting a bit to get a more comfortable position. 

Castiel didn’t answer and just when Dean thought Castiel fell asleep again, he could feel him moving closer. Eventually Castiel ended up in Dean’s arms, his head buried in Dean’s neck.

“You’re very warm.” Castiel stated, moving impossibly closer to Dean and his intoxicating warmth.

Dean laughed a throaty laugh and wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist. He looked over at Castiel and noticed he really did fall asleep this time. Dean had the sudden urge to kiss the sleeping boy in his arms, so he pecked his forehead softly and closed his eyes.


	10. You can be my idiot.

“You’re very warm.” Castiel stated, moving impossibly closer to Dean and his intoxicating warmth.

Dean laughed a throaty laugh and wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist. He looked over at Castiel and noticed he really did fall asleep this time. Dean had the sudden urge to kiss the sleeping boy in his arms, so he pecked his forehead softly and closed his eyes.

****

Castiel woke up, feeling two arms tightly wrapped around his waist. He looked up to see a sleeping Dean, his face only inches away from his own.

Dean looked so peaceful when he was asleep, not the weary expression he usually wore. Castiel smiled softly, even though he knew Dean couldn’t see.

Castiel could lay here forever, in this warm cocoon of Dean with their legs tangled together. Too bad Dean woke up only a few minutes after Cas due to the alarm clock on his bedside table. Castiel felt the urge to throw that thing out of the window for destroying their peaceful slumber, but it was time to get up and go to school.

“Good morning angel.” Dean whispered, trying not to ruin the serenity of the room.

“Angel again?” Castiel asked yawning. He stretched his arms out above his head. Castiel noticed Dean looking at the place where his shirt rode up. Castiel blushed, pulling the shirt down instantly. He wasn’t used to this kind of attention.

“Unless you want me to call you Blue Eyes.” Dean smirked, he untangled their legs and sat up, leaning against the headboard of the bed.

Castiel blushed and averted his eyes from Dean’s, inspecting his room. The room was normal sized, but quite empty. There were no personal belongings. Not even photographs.

“Breakfast?” Dean asked, laying his big hand on Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel could feel the heat radiating off of him, sending shivers down his spine.

“Yes, thank you.” Castiel smiled softly, enjoying the warm feeling that was forming inside his stomach. Dean couldn’t help but smile back and slid out of his bed, immediately exiting the room.

Castiel continued to just lay there, thinking about this feeling he always had with Dean. He never experienced that with someone before, well he never had an actual serious relationship before, but that was not the point. Dean felt like home; warm and safe. He could see himself falling in love with Dean too. It was amazing to know Dean felt the same way. Maybe it was time for him to take Dean on a date. _Wait, isn’t there a fair in town?_ Castiel smiled at his idea, already getting excited. Still, he had to ask Dean. This is going to be nerve-wracking.

Castiel finally stood up from the bed, leaving his cocoon of warmth behind, and headed to the kitchen. Sam was nowhere to be found, probably still in his room either getting ready or sleeping.

“There you are!” Dean’s cheerful voice called out, still facing the stove and flipping what looks like to be a blueberry pancake. Castiel’s stomach rumbled at the smell coming off the delicious food in front of him.

Castiel took place at the dinner table, patiently waiting until Dean was done. Dean quietly hummed a song Castiel had never heard. Castiel closed his eyes, almost falling back asleep again before Dean placed a plate on the table with an impressive amount of pancakes on top of it. Castiel’s mouth watered at the sight.

Dean left again and returned with two plates and cutlery. “You can dig in now.”

Castiel ignored the smug grin on Dean’s face and stacked some pancakes on his plate, immediately “digging in” as Dean called it. He stuffed bits of pancake in his mouth, almost moaning at the taste. _Almost._

Dean calmly ate his own pancakes, shamelessly staring at Castiel with a sparkle in his eyes. This almost felt _domestic_. There was no other word for it, and Castiel didn’t mind it one bit. It was supposed to scare him, make him worried about their future, which would undeniably end badly. But he couldn’t. This made him feel warm inside and with Dean’s smile aimed at him, he never felt so sure of anything in his life.

Of course school was about to ruin this moment. It was already getting late and they both still needed to shower and get dressed.

“We could shower together, to save time and the environment.” Dean casually stated with a wink, before turning his back to Castiel, giving him the perfect opportunity to check out the muscles in his back.

Castiel gulped and quickly averting his eyes from Dean’s broad shoulders to a random spot on the wall. Dean looked back to see a flustered Castiel intensely staring at a wall. Dean chuckled softly and opened his bedroom for Castiel to come in. Dean cleared his throat, making Castiel look up and rush into the bedroom.

“May I take a shower?” Castiel asked, his cheeks already heating up. He wasn’t looking Dean in the eye, so Dean lifted his chin with his fingers and leaned in closer.

_“You may.”_

Castiel shuddered at the husky tone in Dean’s voice and quickly grabbed his clothes from the day before, hoping nobody would notice.

“You can borrow a shirt if you want.” Dean said, rummaging through his closet.

“If it’s not too much trouble, then yes, thank you.” Castiel smiled, patiently waiting until Dean found something for him to wear. Castiel knew he was going to look ridiculous wearing his clothes as Dean was a lot broader and slightly taller than himself. Everything would be too big on him, but for some reason, he didn’t care. Maybe it was Dean’s lingering smell on the shirt he borrowed last night, or the thought that he was wearing _Dean’s_ clothes. Either way, Castiel liked it.

“Here, you can wear this.” Dean said, handing him a moss green plain T-shirt and a plaid shirt with hints of the same color green. Castiel smiled softly as he took the clothes in his hands.

“I heard Sam coming out of the shower so I will just use his. I’ll meet you in the living room once we’re done, okay?” Dean asked. “Oh, and you can just use whatever in the bathroom.”

“Thank you, Dean.” Castiel replied. Without thinking Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, resting his head on Dean’s broad chest. Castiel quickly pulled away when he realized what he just did and rushed into the bathroom, locking the door from the inside.

Dean stood frozen in his bathroom, he wanted to hug the boy closer and longer. But he ran off before Dean could do anything. He didn’t have time to understand what was happening and hug him back. Dean hoped Cas wouldn’t think that he didn’t want this. Because he did, he craved it. The warmth of the lean boy felt like heaven. All of his worries slipped away when he had Cas in his arms. And he let him go.

_You are such an idiot._

****

The ride to school was awkward to say the least. Sam was grumpy as always, so he wasn’t talking, just having a staring competition with his reflection in the window. Castiel wasn’t talking either, Dean assumed he was still embarrassed about the hug. Dean tried to start a conversation, but it eventually died down every time. Dean sighed for the about the twentieth time that car ride. _I have to make it up somehow._

Dean parked the car in an empty spot and turned off the engine. Sam immediately sprang out of the car and rushed to the school.  Castiel and Dean sat in silence for a few minutes. After a while Castiel stepped out of the car as well, not knowing how to handle this situation. Dean jumped out of Baby the minute Castiel slammed the door shut, running after him. Castiel was a fast walker; Dean actually had to put effort into keeping up with him.

They were halfway when Dean had enough. He grabbed Castiel’s arm and spun him around. Castiel, being quite clumsy, fell into Dean’s arms. Castiel tried to pull away, but Dean wasn’t planning on letting him go. Not again.

Dean’s arms circled around Castiel’s waist and pulled him closer. Castiel hesitated, but eventually ended up winding his arms around Dean’s neck. They stayed in each other’s arms, neither of them wanting to let go. It felt like Castiel mended Dean back together. Gluing the broken pieces until they became one again. Dean was always the one being strong for others, keeping others safe before even thinking about himself. Protecting his little brother, giving him the last bit of food, even though he was hungry himself. With Castiel, he felt like he could be a little selfish for once. Like he could let go without fearing everything would break apart without him. Castiel would take care of him, he was sure.

The loud ringing of the school bell broke them out of the peaceful daze. Dean let out a relieved sigh. Don’t get him wrong, he adored being in Castiel’s arms, but he was getting too emotional, and way too attached. He had to remind himself that this wouldn’t last forever. One day his father would come back and bring them on the next hunt. It was only a matter of time.

Dean released Castiel from his firm grip and took a few steps back, inspecting Castiel’s now scarlet face. Dean smiled at the shyness of the shorter boy.

“Come on, we don’t want to be late.”

“Since when do you care if we’re late?” Castiel asked, squinting his eyes suspicious of Dean’s words.

“Guess you have a bad influence on me.” Dean smirked, eying Castiel up and down. He still couldn’t get over how cute Cas looked in his clothes.

“You mean a good influence.” Castiel said, rolling his eyes. The shyness from before almost completely gone, replaced by a teasing version of Castiel he only ever showed Dean.

Dean just winked and motioned Castiel to follow him into the building. Students were already flooding inside the school, meaning they were already kind of late. Getting through the sea of people inside, already took a while.

****

“Class is cancelled!” Charlie cheered, slapping Dean on his back.

“Wait, what-.”

“Miss Masters got the flu and there are no teacher or substitutes who can take over the class.” Charlie beamed, throwing her hand up in the air. Dean and Castiel shared a look. They worked such a long time on the project and now it was all for nothing. Well, they did get a good talk out of it, and of course sleeping together in the same bed wasn’t a bad thing either.

“Maybe we can hang out together?” Dean asked, looking down at Charlie and Cas.

“Sorry Dean, I can’t.” Charlie said, walking off in the other direction after doing a peace sign with her hands.

“So Cas…”

“Sure. Maybe we can go outside?” Castiel asked, his blue eyes shining with hope. How was Dean supposed to say no to that?

“Lead the way.”

*****

They sat down on the white bleachers in front of the football field. The place wasn’t the most romantic, but there was currently nobody there, so it gave them the privacy they craved. Dean thought he would get sick of hanging around the same person all the time, but instead, he couldn’t get enough.

“Hey Dean, can I ask you something.” Castiel asked, his voice slightly shaking. His hand fumbled with the sleeves of Dean’s plaid shirt that fell over his hands.

“Of course you can.” Dean tried to give him a reassuring smile and prayed to god it worked.

“W-well, there is this, uhm, fair in town. And I thought, maybe, we could, uhm, go. I guess. Like, t-together, maybe.” Castiel stammered, once again turning bright red.

“You mean like…” Dean bowed forward, his lips close to Castiel’s ear. “ _A date?_ ”

This time the blush reached all the way down from his cheeks to his neck. Dean smirked, knowing full well what he did to the boy.

“Uhm, I mean, o-only if you want to.”

“I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Does that mean-.”

“Yes Cas, I would love to go to the fair with you.” Dean smiled fondly at the nervous wreck in front of him. It surprised Dean that Castiel of all people would take the first step, but this only made Dean crave him more. He was hoping Castiel possessed some dominant side nobody has ever seen.

_God that would be hot._

****

The lights of the fair shone brightly against the dark world surrounding them. Dean admired them from a distance as he parked Baby a couple of minutes away from it. He has never been to a fair in his whole life, his father basically banned anything fun. Dean had no idea what to expect. He saw roller coasters, a huge Ferris wheel and various signs with words written on them like “Cotton Candy” or “Arcade”.

Dean got excited just by watching the people have fun; screaming from the roller coaster and cheering from the arcade. Dean couldn’t wait any longer. Castiel must’ve noticed because he stared at Dean, waiting for him to get out of the car.

They walked down the hill together and at the entrance Castiel paid for their tickets. He ignored the protesting Dean and gave his money to the teenager behind the booth.

The fair was extremely crowded. A horde of people almost swept Castiel away from Dean. He quickly grabbed Castiel to prevent him from falling over and kept holding on to make sure they wouldn’t lose each other in the crowd. Castiel’s warm hand was smaller than his own and very soft against his calloused ones.

They made their way to the cotton candy and ended up buying a gigantic one, they shared together. And no it wasn’t some Lady and the Tramp thing, they just used their hands to rip the cotton candy off the stick.

After that they went to the arcade, where Dean was flabbergasted by Castiel who was actually quite good at arcade games. And of course they went on the roller coaster, in which they screamed with joy and maybe a little bit of fear. That thing was high!

They leaned against each other, with their fingers intertwined as they made their way to the Ferris wheel. They had decided to save this one for last, to end the night calmly. And probably because the Ferris wheel was a really romantic thing to do. It wasn’t that they weren’t ready, they were just afraid to take that first step.

Until they stopped in front of the big wheel, multicolored lights lighting up the entire fair. Dean gulped, watching Castiel carefully. He couldn’t read his expression, making Dean ten times more nervous.

“Do you want to go in?” Dean asked hesitantly, not looking Castiel in the eye. He wouldn’t be able to handle the rejection, even if he tried. Maybe it was just this huge metal thing, but it could mean so much more for their relationship.

“Yes Dean, if that’s okay with you.” Castiel said calmly, still no expression on his face.

“Yeah, of course it is.”

They waited in line for about five minutes when it was their turn to take a seat. It was a small cabin and Dean was relieved to see it had only room for two, giving them as much privacy as they needed.

They sat in silence until they reached the top. The wheel stopped spinning, giving them the perfect view of the fair and beyond. But Dean wasn’t looking at the view at all, he admired Castiel looking out of the small windows instead.

The lights illuminated his face in the most breathtaking way and his ocean blue eyes shone. Dean really wanted to kiss him right now. Not just want, need, and hell he craved it.

Castiel slowly turned his head, facing Dean fully now. Neither of them spoke, but they didn’t need to. Their eyes said enough. Castiel licked his lips involuntarily, while glancing at Dean’s lips. His eyes flashed up for a moment to stare into Dean’s grass green eyes, only to look back at his lips. Dean slowly leaned forward, giving Castiel time to back out if he wanted to. Instead, Castiel leaned in too, his eyes closing once he was close enough to feel Dean’s breath fanning his face. Dean took a moment to take all of Castiel in; his sex hair, his beautiful face, his smell that was somewhat cinnamon-y. Then, Dean closed his eyes as well.

It was just a soft peck on the lips, nothing more nothing less. They opened their eyes again, watching each other for a brief moment with a soft smile on their faces, before they leaned back in again. This time the kiss lasted longer, their lips melting into each other. They moved at a slow pace, until Dean grabbed the back of Castiel’s head and pulled them closer. Dean felt one hand move to his face and the other one clutching his hip. Dean swept his tongue against Castiel’s bottom lips, asking for entrance, which Castiel gladly gave him. Dean let his tongue roam the inside of Castiel’s mouth, before they had to pull away for air.

A huge smile spread across Dean’s face, matching the beaming one on Castiel face. Dean cupped his cheeks and gave him one last peck, then looked around noticing they were almost on the ground again.

They stepped out the cabin, with their hands linked, smiling like idiots.


	11. An Unexpected Visitor

“Dad is home.” Those three dreaded words managed to make Dean’s stomach turn in one simple second. It felt as if everything came crashing down. Dean was finally happy, content with his life and now everything was ruined. His dad is going to take both his brother and himself away from this town to never return. Of course, his dad had caught the monster he was fighting in only weeks, because he’s John Winchester and John Winchester never fails.

Dean knew this day would come eventually, that’s the whole reason why he never wanted to start something with Cas in the first place; knowing that he was going to break his heart. But Dean was mesmerized by his eyes and grown attached to his personality. He couldn’t help but falling. He tried to create some distance between them, actually flirting back with Lisa, but nothing worked. He still felt butterflies, even it was just a mention of his name. _God, he’s got it bad._

And now it was time to say goodbye, to never see him again. The one person that made him happier than he ever was. The hardest part is that there is nothing he could do about it. He’s just slipping through his fingers and Dean can’t hold on.

Dean nodded and followed Sam into the kitchen where John was seated in one of their kitchen chairs. The entire table was filled with various books and old looking papers, scattered around the table. It looked like a mess without any structure, but John probably knew what he was doing.

“Hey dad, I didn’t expect you.” Dean tried, but no avail, John turned the page of a large book he was holding without noticing Dean standing in the doorway. Maybe he just pretended to read, or planned to ignore him long enough so he would go away. It was no secret Dean wasn’t his favorite, although Dean still tries to be.

“Don’t just stand there, help me with research.” John’s voice called, booming through the room. Dean flinched, hesitantly making his way over to the dinner table and taking a seat.

The relaxed state Dean had been in from his date with Cas was replaced with some sort of anxiety. Dean forced himself to focus on the task at hand, making sure he did everything perfectly how John expected him to be, too afraid to make a mistake.

“Five children in six weeks are brought into the hospital,” John started, Dean jumped up from his dad’s voice and listened intently.

“Parent’s find them in their beds, seriously sick out of nowhere. The doctors said that their immune systems are giving out. Also, there was this handprint on the sill outside their windows.”

Dean nodded and returned back to research, now knowing what he was looking for. Dean held in a smile, because he knew what research meant, John had not found the supernatural being yet and was leaving again soon. Maybe, after all, his relationship with Cas wasn’t ruined yet.

****

After multiple hours without finding anything, Dean was exhausted. They had worked through the night and it was currently almost four o’clock now. But he mustn’t give up now, the sooner he found out who did this, the sooner John left and he could see Cas.

Dean turned the page of a current book he was reading, when his eyes fell on the description of some sort of witch. It’s an Albanian witch whose legends dates back to ancient Rome. They feed off “Spiritus Vitae” also known as “Breath of Life”. They can feed off everyone but prefer children because they have a stronger life force. They take vitality and usually appear as an old lady. They’re called “Shtriga”.

Dean grinned and quickly told John everything he knew about this monster. John nodded with thoughtful eyes, trying to piece everything together. Once he was convinced this was in fact the thing he has been hunting, he pushed his chair back and walked to the hallway. Dean followed him only to see his dad putting his leather coat on. John turned to Dean and said only one thing before walking out of the door, “Keep Sammy safe.”

Dean grimaced, staring at the door long after John left. No “thank you” or “good job”. It’s not that Dean wasn’t used to this already, however, it still hurts every time. If it was Sam who found out what kind of monster it was, John would praise the hell out of him.

But not Dean, _never_ Dean.

****

Sam poked his head around his bedroom door, checking if it was okay to come out yet. He found his brother still in the hallway, hands in his hair.

“Are you okay, Dean?” Sam asked, cautiously stepping forward until he was standing next to his big brother.

“Yeah, Sammy, why do you ask?” Dean replied, not looking at Sam, instead he was having a staring contest with the closed door.

“Because you look sad.” Sam replied bluntly. It was quiet for a while after that, the only sound that could be heard was the ticking clock in the living room. “Where’s dad?”

“Dad left again, I don’t know for how long.” Dean replied as if he was a robot with no emotion, like he was on autopilot.

“I hope he stays away for a while. I’m starting to like it here.” Sam mumbled, knowing he shouldn’t think this but he was relieved anyway. He liked the school and the people and he actually had friends. Sam was enjoying himself and didn’t want to leave it all behind.

“Me too Sammy, me too.”

****

Dean woke up from a ringing sound beside him. He checked the alarm clock next to him and saw that it was around two in the afternoon. After John left in the early hours, Dean made breakfast for both him and Sam. When they were done eating, Dean told Sam to go back to bed, it was Sunday anyway, so they had plenty of time to get some shut eye. Dean didn’t even take his clothes off, but fell on top of his bed and snoozed off in a matter of seconds.

Dean checked the caller ID, Blue Eyes, it said. Dean smiled and picked up instantly feeling a lot better.

“Hey Cas.” Dean answered with a grin stretching his face, but it fell when he heard a, “Hello Dean,” which sounded colder and more distant than usual.

“What’s the matter Cas?” Dean asked concerned, his heartbeat picking up speed.

“Do you regret what happened Friday?” Castiel asked in a brittle voice, like he was about to burst into tears.

“Wait, what?! No, of course not! Why would you think that?”

“Because you didn’t answer any of my text or calls and I thought you regretted it. I apologize.” Castiel said in a small voice.

“Shit Cas I’m so sorry, my phone was off and I didn’t check.” Dean started, he wanted to say more, explain the situation. But maybe it was better if he didn’t, in that way he could protect Cas; from both his dad and his hunting life. “I’ll tell you what,” Dean continued. “Come over to my house after school and I’ll make it up to you.”

“Okay Dean.” Castiel responded already sounding happier than before. Dean sighed in relief, he never wanted to upset Cas but he knew John wouldn’t accept it if he was texting instead of researching.

They continued to talk for a while, but eventually it was time for dinner and they had to say their goodbyes. Still, even after John came home, which wasn’t pleasant in any way, Cas could make him feel a lot better by talking and making Dean smile even if he thought he couldn’t. He managed to turn his mood around with a few simple words, but they were enough and Dean smiled instead of his usual smirk. Cas doesn’t even know he was slowly changing Dean for the better. But Dean noticed it and Sam did as well. Of course his nosy little brother would notice, he deduced people on a daily basis. So when Dean sat down and Sam smiled knowingly, Dean couldn’t help but smile back, knowing he’s got his little brother's full support.

 


	12. Teach Me How To Skate

“So, you and Jess huh?” Dean teased, watching Sam’s cheeks turn a bright red. Even though Dean pokes fun at him for having a date, he is in fact happy for him. The kid deserves something good in his life for a change. Especially after John came home last night. And honestly, Dean was very proud. Sam was a bit shy when it came to dating and girls, for him to finally ask her out was an achievement.

“When is the date?” Dean asked, a real smile on his face now. Sam’s eyes lit up and immediately babbled about the plans he had made. He asked her to go ice-skating at a skating rink not far from their home. It was perfect for the season; snow was already falling and the wind was an icy cold. It left Dean with a frozen nose and flushed cheeks, but he kind of liked it. Sure, it was his least favorite season due to the cold, but the snow was pretty at least. And playing in the snow, making snow angels and having snowball fights were worth it. The brisk winds cleared his head when he was worried, or deep in thought. It felt like waking up.

“So I thought, maybe you could drive us,” Sam smiled, shyly scratching the back of his neck. “Please?” He added, looking up at Dean with pleading eyes a hint of excitement flowing through them.

“Sure buddy,” Dean smiled back, ruffling his younger brother’s hair. His hair was getting way too long, but he didn’t want to cut it and Dean wasn’t going to force him. Unlike John, who had made many comments through the years. Yelling at Dean to take care of it. Dean, being the little soldier he was, brought Sam to the hairdresser with a heavy heart. However, John wasn’t here right now, therefore Dean could do what he wanted and so could Sam. “Is it okay for me to bring Cas, we are not going to babysit you, don’t worry. I have to make it up to him for not responding yesterday.” Dean explained.

“Yeah, sure,” Sam agreed, hopping inside the car, ready to go home and study. The faster today will go, the faster he could go on his date tomorrow. It was safe to say that he was more than excited. He had an eye on Jess for a while now, not just because she is pretty. She was the first person to actually speak to him, the others just gave him curious glances, but that was it. She, however, sat down next to him and started a conversation. That was enough for them to become friends and now he finally asked her out. She had mentioned she wanted to go ice skating a few days before. Even though Sam never learned how to ice skate, he was a fast learner. “I don’t want you guys to break up. You’ve only been dating for what? Two days now?”

“Yeah, that’s why I can’t mess this up.” Dean said, rubbing his face. He had never been in a proper relationship and he never expected it to be so damn stressful. He didn’t know how to act either, but today went just fine. He was flustered at first, not quite knowing what Cas would do, however, from the moment their fingers laced together, everything flowed naturally. The occasional kiss on the cheek and hug were given that day, which caused their friends to mock them. Though, Dean could see how proud Charlie was. Even Kevin smiled and whispered “finally”, before returning to his book.

“You won’t, now let’s go. I’m hungry!”

“Hey, Cas?” Dean whispered to his boyfriend. Yes his boyfriend. He couldn’t get enough of saying that, even if it was in his head. He never thought he had a chance with this boy and now he was happy he never gave up.

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel whispered back, only glancing at him for one second before he faced the whiteboard again.

“Sam’s taking Jess on a date,” Dean explained, his tone hushed. He couldn’t risk detention, not today of all days. Not when he was supposed to go on a date with Cas. “And I thought it might be nice for us to join them. So… are you free today?”

“Yes, I am. Where are we going if I may ask?” Castiel responded, quickly noting something down from the lecture they were given. Even though Dean reminded him a dozen of times he didn’t have to be polite, not to him, it was a hard habit to break free out of.

“The ice skating rink. I’ve never been ice-skating before, so don’t laugh if I suck.” Dean answered, pushing away a dark strand of hair that had fallen into Castiel’s’ eyes.

“Thank you,” Castiel smiled, his blue eyes shining. “And I won’t , you know I won’t.”

“Yeah, I know.”

****

“How do you get these damn things on?!” Dean cursed frustrated. He dropped the skate and threw daggers at it. It was annoying and Dean was already getting hotter from the many tries.

“Let me help you,” Castiel said, crouching down next to Dean foot and helped Dean’s foot inside it, then he tied the shoelace and did the same with the left one. He then pulled Dean up, catching him before he could fall. “Are you okay?” Castiel asked worriedly, keeping one arm around Dean’s waist.

“’m fine.” Dean grunted, trying to steady himself. He only felt himself holding on to Castiel tighter and gave up. He used Cas as a support and tried to copy Cas, who moved his feet with grace. This resulted in him landing on his butt. He flailed his arms and moved his feet in order to get up, but he fell back again. Castiel was trying not to laugh, he really was. But Dean’s grumpy expression combined with the weird movements he was making, made Castiel burst out in laughter. Dean flushed red, but laughed along with him, how could he not when Castiel’s melodious laugh sounded better than anything. Castiel looked so beautiful right now, it still baffled him how someone could look as gorgeous as he does. The snow started falling a while ago, leaving white specks in Castiel’s hair. His eyes sparkled, Dean could drown in the depths of those big blues. His cheeks were slightly red, as if he was blushing all the time. He sure was a sight.

Castiel pulled him up again, this time not letting go of his hands. He could feel the heat coming from them even when they were wearing gloves. Castiel skated backwards, dragging Dean along. Castiel showed him how to move his feet and it actually kind of worked this time. It was still a bit sloppy and uncoordinated, but he managed.

“There you go.” Castiel beamed proudly, slowly letting go until he was holding one hand and was skating right next to him.

They slowly came to a stop, taking a break to watch Sam and Jess skating alongside each other, smiling and laughing.

Castiel turned his head, staring at Dean until he turned his head as well. They ended up gazing into each other’s eyes, before Castiel leaned forward and captured Dean in a soft, slow kiss. Their lips were frozen and cold really started to seep in once they weren’t moving, but they couldn’t care less.

Dean was pleasantly surprised when Castiel kissed him. Usually it was him who initiated the kisses and for Castiel to come out of his shell, kissing Dean without worries he might pull back, was admirable.

“Thanks, Dean.” Castiel said, cupping Dean’s cheek in his gloved hand.

“For what?”

“Taking me out on this date, it was incredible.”

It was getting darker outside, they couldn’t see much anymore. Fairy lights suddenly sprung on as well as the giant Christmas tree next to the rink. They watched sparkling lights, a sense of warmth washing over them.

They leaned in once again.


	13. An angel called Castiel

“I suck at this,” Dean groaned, resting his head on top of his arms while he lay down. The cool wood of the table wasn’t comfortable for the chilly weather; it sent shivers down his spine.

He usually didn’t get worked up about a grade, yet here he was, moping because he got a D- for his latest history test. Yes, he never actually went to high school enough to know this stuff. However, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. If he was able to finish high school, even though it was near impossible with the amount of education Dean had and the fact that John didn’t think school was important, he could support himself and even Sam. They could escape the hunting life and get a real one; with jobs and a nice house instead of dirty motel rooms. Sam’s a smart kid, he could easily get a scholarship if he attended high school full time.

He deserved more than this.

“I could help you,” Castiel said, rubbing his arm in a soothing manner. He could feel himself leaning into the touch. The comforting warmth of Castiel’s hand relaxed his muscles immediately. Dean could feel himself smile, closing his eyes briefly to cherish the touch.

“You want to be my tutor?” Dean asked hopefully, he tried not to sound desperate, it didn’t work. Castiel smiled softly, “Of course, Dean. I would be honored” he told him.

How Dean ever got this lucky to meet Cas was beyond him. The chance of finding someone as amazing as he was very small. Especially with Dean’s hunter lifestyle. He could picture himself with Cas, on a veranda, watching their grandchildren play together. It may sound creepy or weird to people, who thinks like this? However, this was a life that wasn’t meant for Dean, even if he desperately wanted it to be. He wanted a boring apple pie life with a boring job and boring problems, but his dad took that opportunity away long ago.

Ever since his mom died, his dad hasn’t been the same. After the fire, John changed into this bitter and cold human being whose only goal in life was to find the creature that did this to his wife. That’s how he got tangled up in the hunting life. Not only looking for Mary’s killer but also killing every troublesome creature along the way. He dragged his sons into this too; teaching them how to shoot guns and how to fight the supernatural. Mary wouldn’t have wanted this, she came from a hunting family herself and knew how damaging it was for children. It wasn’t a life for kids, it was hardly a good life for an adult. She would’ve wanted her kids to be happy and, well, to be kids.

Sam didn’t remember her that well, sometimes he recognized her face in old photos, but besides that, there was nothing. Dean, however, he did remember her; her sweet smiles, her voice singing her favorite song to him when he had a nightmare. Sometimes he still listened to that song, “Hey Jude”, when he felt bad. Usually, it made him feel worse yet sometimes, he could hear her voice singing along. She used to bake him pies because he loved them and kiss his forehead goodnight, telling him that angels are watching over him.

He always felt safe when he heard those words, truly believing angels were there, watching over his shoulder and guiding him through life. Years later and didn’t believe in actual angels anymore, maybe they were real but he never saw them. Maybe there was a whole world and different creatures that he didn’t know about. That thought was pushed away as soon as it comes up and Dean remained skeptical.

Now, after all this time, he finally found his angel. Whenever he was with Castiel, he felt that same sense of safety he felt when Mary whispered those words. Castiel isn’t an actual angel, he’s human just like Dean, and he knew that. Dean did see him as one, though. Castiel pulled him out of his hunting life, bringing him peace and joy. Maybe angels weren’t meant in the literal sense. Maybe they weren’t celestial beings with wings and halo’s. Maybe they were the people you needed in your life, the ones who made you feel safe and loved. Castiel did that for him, therefore, he was an angel.

“We can study at my place after school?” Dean asked, sending hopeful glances Castiel’s way. As if Castiel wasn’t perfect enough, he and Sam really got along. They talked about books and school, Dean usually sits back and listens whenever they talk. It was nice to have someone around, not only for him but for Sam too.

“Okay. I’ll meet you outside,” Castiel smiled, grabbing his books and putting it in his bag. Dean didn’t even realize that class was over, he didn’t hear the bell ringing. Castiel kissed his cheek sweetly before he left the classroom, hurrying to next period.

Dean’s cheek tingled from the kiss, he still wasn’t completely used to this. Being in a relationship was different than Dean expected; a good kind of different. He expected clingy and whiny partners, absolutely no freedom whatsoever. With Castiel, it was different. Ever since their first introduction, Dean never craved the make-out sessions in the janitor closet with random girls anymore. He didn’t even make googly eyes whenever a hot girl walked by. Dean always compared them with Cas and Cas always won. If Dean had the choice, he would never leave Cas ever again. But life isn’t like that.

Dean knows that at one point he has to leave Cas. His father is going to return and they would be off on another hunt, another case, and another town. They never went to the same town twice and John wasn’t going to leave them here. At one point Dean has to say goodbye.

It was cruel, not to tell Cas. Dean was being egoistic he knows that. But the thought of telling Cas, made him physically sick. Castiel wouldn’t believe him if he told him everything, about the hunting and the creatures, and breaking his heart by lying wasn’t on Dean’s agenda. 

He had to treasure the moments he had with Cas and figure it out along the way. Honestly, he never thought Cas would actually go for him. He thought Cas would be sick and tired of him by now. But Castiel made it very clear that he wasn’t leaving and that he wasn’t giving up on Dean. That was truly something to admire.

****

“So, you guys are getting a lot of studying done, aren’t you?”

Dean and Castiel pulled apart quickly, blushing furiously. They froze in their position, a very provocative one. Dean was lying on top of Castiel, one hand still in his unruly black hair. Their lips were red and swollen, their eyes blown wide. Sam was behind the couch, looking down at them with a smirk. In that moment, Dean really wanted to punch him.

“What the hell, Sammy?!” Dean shouted, sitting upright so he could scowl at his little brother. Sam only laughed harder and threw his hands up in defense.

“I’m going to my room and bleach my eyes,” Sam said, walking around the couch and into his bedroom. Not long after loud music begins to play to draw out the sounds they were making.

It started when Dean couldn’t focus, even though he really tried to. He was getting frustrated so Cas made a deal. For every correct answer, Castiel would give Dean a kiss. This worked for a while until it escalated. That’s how they ended up with Dean straddling Castiel, moaning in each other’s mouths. Castiel was pretty sure Dean sucked a hickey into the skin of his neck, that was going to be a pain to hide.

Right now, Castiel didn’t care. He placed a hand on Dean’s neck and pulled him back towards him. They kissed passionately, their tongues roaming each other’s mouths. Dean bit Castiel bottom lip and Cas let out a strangled moan. Everything was fine, close to perfect even, until they heard the sound of someone clearing his throat.

In front of them stood a tall man with too many layers of clothes and a week old beard; John.

Dean’s blood ran cold. He scurried off Castiel and stammered apologies and explanations but John didn’t pay attention to him. His eyes never left Castiel, inspecting him with a scowl on his face. John didn’t approve, that was clear.

John was a “manly man” who was all about guns, beer and women. He expected the same from his sons. He was fine with gay people as long as it wasn’t one of his kids. He encouraged Dean to talk to girls, even encouraged Sam too sometimes. Seeing Dean like this, making out with a boy, was unacceptable.

The silence was louder than the words John could’ve spoken. Castiel was frozen in fear, caught as a deer in headlights. John walked to the kitchen, still not saying a word. He picked up a book from the kitchen table and walked past them, right outside the door.

The door slammed with an ear deafening sound, the walls shaking from the incredible force. Castiel eyed Dean, but he wasn’t reacting. Castiel stood from the couch and wrapped an arm around Dean’s shoulder. That’s when Dean broke down.

Castiel wiped the fallen tears from his cheeks, Dean’s green eyes shining and bloodshot. There was so much pain behind those eyes, Castiel felt as if he was about to cry himself. He wrapped Dean in a tight embrace, guiding him to his bedroom. There he lay down with him, kissing his tears away until they stopped falling.

There wasn’t a need for a conversation, Castiel understood. Dean appreciated this, the fresh smell of Cas calmed him down. Cas gently rubbed his back with just the tips of his fingers in circular motions. It was rare, Dean letting his walls come down like that. He didn’t cry in a long time and he never wanted Cas to see him like this.

But that was just it. Castiel didn’t mind, didn’t judge him. He was there for Dean to comfort him and that was all that mattered.


	14. Can I have this dance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait! Hope you enjoy this ball of fluff :)

A few days passed and John never returned. Dean was still hesitant to bring Cas over, afraid something like that night may happen again. Their relationship remained strong; the teachers and students were getting sick of their PDA during classes and in-between them. Neither of them cared, they could let themselves go without being afraid.

Luckily, the school was really accepting. There were no bullies and yes, sometimes they did say something about them being gay and that it’s wrong. They ignored it the best they could. Dean wanted to punch them, threaten them to leave them alone, yet Castiel always intervened. Castiel was the one who could hold him back, even with his temper.

Eventually, after the news died down, everything was back to normal. No more gay slurs or weird looks, just peaceful quietness.

Dean found yet another prom poster on the wall next to his locker. The whole school was full of them, alongside the “Prom Queen” posters of various popular girls. Of course, Lisa was on a lot of posters too. There was no doubt she was going to win this year, she was the most popular girl after all. She had made moves on Dean, even after the entire school found out that they’re together. Dean ignored her the best he could, he had no feelings for her, he had only eyes for Cas.

If he hadn’t been with Cas, he may have flirted back, woo her so he could get laid. Those times are behind him, he has Cas now and he is content. He could’ve never imagined himself being tied down in a relationship, too many restrictions. This relationship with Cas changed everything. It didn’t feel restricted, it felt good. Having such an amazing person to call his was the most wonderful thing. Dean was sure it wouldn’t have felt like that if he was in a relationship with someone else. Dean tried it once; a relationship. It was a girl named Cassie, and yes he knew how ironic this was. Where he felt like he was tied down, unable to move, it felt like he was flying with Cas. She was too clingy, which made him want to pull away. Cas did the same things she did; hugs and kisses, hand holding and dare he say cuddling. Yet, Dean only wanted to pull him closer.

Dean knew how lucky he was to be with Cas, it was a privilege really. However, all good things come to an end. Sooner or later his father finishes the hunt and drives them to another town that needs their help. Dean would be away from Cas, unable to return. Dean tried to push these thoughts away, live in the moments he does get to share with the blue eyed boy. The thing is; Dean is going to break Castiel’s heart and he knows it. It was inevitable. But Dean can’t stay away, it would hurt too much. Looking at the boy in the hallways and in class knowing he had him and he couldn’t keep him. That’s the reason why Dean keeps silent for now.

Speaking of the blue-eyed boy; he was walking down the hallway right now. Dean stopped everything he was doing to admire his beautiful boyfriend walking towards him. The lights on the ceiling made it look like he had an almost angelic glow around his body.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel smiled stopping right in front of Dean. Cas stood on his tiptoes and pecked Dean on his mouth. Dean held in the urge to grab him, push him against a locker and kiss him hard. He tried that once and got detention for it.

“Hey, babe,” Dean replied with a smug grin, remembering the plan he had made a few days ago.

As it was almost time for prom, Dean figured he could ask Cas. He had never been to a dance or prom and he was curious what it would be like. To dance with the person you love while listening to awful music.

“How are you doing, Dean?”

“Better now you are here,” Dean replied swiftly. His lips turned upwards into a smug grin when he saw the blush on Cas’s face. He loved how he could still make him blush, even after Cas was getting used to it by now. “Hey, I was wondering…”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Do you, maybe, want to, uhm,” Dean stammered, his cheeks turning red now. Castiel looked curious but patient, waiting for him to find his words again. Dean was grateful for that. “Go to prom with me?” Dean blurted before he could chicken out.

The smile that Cas gave him was worth the awkward stammering. Cas practically beamed at him, winding his arms around Dean’s neck and bringing him down for a kiss.

“I would love to!” Castiel exclaimed, still hugging Dean close. Dean reluctantly pulled away when he heard the first bell ring. It was time for Math. Dean got better at a lot of his subject, especially with Cas as his tutor. He didn’t just help him with History anymore, but a lot of other classes as well. His grades got up thanks to Cas’s creative way of teaching him about the subjects. Dean got a kiss every time he got one of Castiel’s answers right, so Dean usually studied very hard.

“It’s settled then. See you at lunch angel.” And with that Dean walked away, lighter on his feet. He got Cas to say yes! Now he had to talk to Charlie because he had no idea how to do this. What are you supposed to wear and what are you supposed to do when you actually get there.

“Hey, Charles, I need your help,” Dean whispered. His Math teacher’s back was turned towards them to write something on the whiteboard. Dean took this as an opportunity to ask Charlie about this “prom” thing. “I asked Cas to prom.”

“Wait, did he say no?” Charlie whispered back shocked, nearly dropping her pen in the process.

“No, no, he didn’t. He accepted, but I’ve never been to prom or a school dance in general.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right person. We’re going shopping after school, and no but’s.”

Dean rolled his eyes but smiled at the redhead next to him; he really did have amazing friends.

****

“Charlie, cut the music.”

“But, montage!” Dean could hear her pouting from where he was standing.

“Charlie,” Dean groaned, facepalming himself behind the curtain. He had put up with Charlie for hours now and he still had not found the right tuxedo. Why he was supposed to be dressed in a monkey suit, he would never know, but somehow this was important so he was okay with laying by the rules.

Dean came out behind the curtain and stood there awkwardly while Charlie inspected him.

“Turn,” she said doing a little twirl with her finger. Dean scowled but turned anyway. Charlie was grinning to herself when he turned back, an almost proud glint in her eyes. “I have really outdone myself, you look great.”

“Thanks, Charlie.”

“The only thing missing is this,” Charlie said, handing him an emerald green tie. Dean tied the tie expertly, he learned from the times he had watched his father when he tied his fed suit. The tie matched his eyes perfectly and he had to say, he didn’t look half bad.

****

Dean stopped the Impala in front of Castiel’s house. Castiel had told his family a few days after they started dating. Most of them were cool with it, except Michael, but who cares right. Castiel wasn’t bothered by him, so Dean wasn’t either. Even though it made him angry that some people are still really close minded these days.

Dean walked to the front door and knocked a few times, the nerves finally kicking in. He checked his outfit one last time to make sure everything was perfect until the door opened. The person that was in front of him left him speechless.

Castiel was dressed in a classic black tuxedo, with a blue bowtie that was the exact same color as his eyes. Castiel’s eyes were sparkling and his cheeks faintly pink as he checked Dean out in return. Dean pulled him in for a kissed when he could move again and grinned against his lips.

“You look incredible,” Dean whispered sincerely, causing Castiel to blush even more. At that moment his mother came out behind Cas, a camera ready in her hands. Of course, they took the awkward prom photographs in different poses. Soon after that, they were on their way to their school.

The prom was held in the gymnasium, the room decorated with blue and white as it was a wintery themed prom. There were balloons and snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, there was even a disco ball.

They easily found their friends at a table in the corner. Most of them came alone, just to have a good time with friends without an obligated date. However, it looked like Charlie brought Jo Harvelle on a date. Dean applauded for her in his head. They would make a cute couple.

They ate snacks, drank the punch and danced to the awful songs the DJ played. Overall; they had a great time. Until the music was suddenly stopped and a teacher walked on stage. Dean was confused until he noticed the girl standing next to the teacher with two crowns.

Prom king and queen, of course.

“Good evening, Lawrence High, thank you all for coming,” the teacher began, holding the microphone way too close to his mouth.  “I would like to welcome the candidates on stage.”

A loud applause erupted from the people surrounding him and Dean clapped with them, even though he had no clue why.

“And now, the moment of truth. Prom king… Dean Winchester!”

The students applauded again, combined with some hooting and whistles. How in the world did he become prom king? He never signed up for this.

Dean looked at Cas, searching for answers, but Cas didn’t have them either. He smiled with at Dean, yet it looked forced in a way. Dean wove through the students and climbed the stage, accepting the crown on his head.

“This is the moment you have all been waiting for. Prom queen of 2015… Lisa Braeden!”

Lisa smiled and waved while she accepted her crown. She did a speech, about how thankful she was for this opportunity and blah blah. Dean stopped listening after the first three seconds.

From the way Lisa looked at him, Dean suspected she had something to do with him becoming prom king. There’s no other explanation. It became clear when the teacher announced the first dance of the king and queen.

Lisa and Dean walked off stage and into the large empty space the students had created for them. Dean could see Cas clearly, the sadness in his smile and the heartbreak in his eyes. The music started and Lisa was in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Lisa. But I can’t do this.” And with that Dean had gently pushed her off him. He ignored her cursing and angry words and instead focused on the most important person in this room.

He held his hand out to Cas, a shimmer in his eyes. “Can I have this dance?”

Castiel nodded quickly, placing his hand in Dean’s. He let Dean pull him to the inside of the circle formed by students and placed Cas’s hands on his shoulders. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist, pulling him closer.

When Castiel put his head on Dean’s chest, Dean knew he had made the right decision. Dean closed his eyes and shut off the rest of the world, only focusing on the angel in his arms.  


	15. You Are Good Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there will be implied sexual content. No, I won't write the actual smut, not here or in an extra/bonus chapter. Right now, I really suck at it. I tried, but I didn't like the outcome. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone with this.

Castiel felt arms wrap around his waist from behind, his cheek being kissed in the process. He smiled to himself, turning around to kiss Dean for real. Butterflies erupted from his stomach as he met Dean’s waiting lips. They have been dating for a while now, but Dean still made him feel giddy every time.

“Hey, babe,” Dean winked, pulling the shoulder strap of his backpack to place it higher on his back.

“Hello, Dean, how are you?”

“I’m good, especially now I see you,” Dean smirked, his grin widening once Castiel cheeks reddened. He liked that he still had that effect on Cas, it made him feel extremely smug. I thought, maybe we could hang out today?”

“Yes, I would like that,” Castiel beamed. He had not seen Dean, besides school, after the dance and he craved his presence. “I’m home alone today, so you can come over to my place if you want to?”

It was that moment when Castiel realized what he was suggesting with this. Sure, they hung out at Dean’s house without parental supervision, but Sam was always there. They were never alone at Castiel’s house either. Castiel’s mom or dad was always there, making sure they kept the door open to prevent certain things from happening. It’s not that Castiel never thought about doing those things with Dean, Castiel was sure he was ready. He trusted Dean with his life and wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else. Yet, it scared him. He was a virgin, too inexperienced for a guy like Dean who had probably done this before.

These thoughts kept nagging at him the entire day. At lunch, Dean had asked him what was going on and if he was okay, Castiel lied and said that he was worried about a test. He could tell Dean didn’t believe him, but he kept quiet and intertwined their pinkies together underneath the table. The action comforted Castiel but didn’t ease his worried mind.

Why would Dean choose him anyway? He was inexperienced, he had no clue what he was doing, and he didn’t even had a relationship with anyone before Dean. And Dean? He could pick anyone that he wanted and he still picked him. The rather shy, virgin nerd. Castiel shook his head as if he could make the stinging feeling of doubt go away.

To say that Castiel was nervous once school ended would be an understatement. He was jumpy the entire ride to his house and Dean kept looking at him, eyes filled with concern. This wasn’t helping much either.

“Are you okay, Cas?”

Well, here we go. They had been watching movies from the moment they arrived at Castiel’s place, not really talking. Dean had noticed there was something off but decided to give Cas the time he needed.

“Why _me_ , Dean?” Castiel asked, his voice a mere whisper. He hated this; the insecurities from before they were even dating. He shouldn’t think like this, but to him, it was unbelievable that Dean wanted him just for who he was.

“Cas, baby, we went over this before. You have nothing to worry about,” Dean soothed, kissing Castiel on his forehead.

“I know, but I can’t help but feel like I’m not good enough,” Cas sighed, burying his head in the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean was silent for a moment, wondering how someone as beautiful as Cas, inside and out, could think like this.

“Not good enough? Cas-”

“No, you don’t get it, Dean. I’m not experienced; this is my first relationship ever. I never even went further than kissing,” Castiel snapped, his eyes prickling with unfallen tears.

“You, _we_ , don’t have to go further, Cas.”

“But, I want to,” Castiel whispered, averting his eyes, his cheeks heating up. He wasn’t supposed to say that, he just blurted it out without thinking. Maybe he was coming on to Dean too strong. Maybe Dean didn’t even want this with him.

Castiel didn’t see the wide grin stretching Dean’s lips but he did feel those lips land on his cheek. Dean gently caressed Castiel’s chin and moved it so Cas was looking at him instead of the wall.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Dean asked, leaning closer so he could drown himself in Castiel’s blue eyes.

“Okay.”

“I never went further than kissing either,” Dean admitted, chuckling when he saw the shock on Castiel’s features.

“But, you’re, well, _you_ ,” Castiel said, his mouth still slightly agape. “You look like a god, it’s not even fair and you could get anyone. I figured you would have done at least something.”

“Nah, I wanted it to be with someone special,” Dean explained. “I’m glad I waited.”

“I understand.”

“I want this with _you_ , Cas,” Dean smiled, capturing Castiel’s lips in a lingering kiss before he could respond. Castiel deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue inside Dean’s familiar mouth. Dean gasped and swirled his tongue around Cas’s. There was passion yet no urgency. The kiss wasn’t hard and fast, but loving and surprisingly tender.

Castiel knew where this was going, Dean knew it too. They kept a slow pace, even when Dean eventually laid Cas down on the bed. Dean moved on top of him, straddling Castiel’s waist with his legs as he traced kisses from Castiel’s mouth to his collarbones.

Meanwhile, Castiel slipped his hands underneath Dean’s shirt, rubbing his sides tenderly. Dean nibbled on Castiel’s skin before sucking lightly. Castiel threw his head back and moaned lowly, allowing Dean more room to do whatever he liked. Dean sucked more enthusiastically and watched a red mark bloom after he let go of the skin. Now, there was the beginning of a hickey on the side of Castiel’s lightly tanned neck.

Dean felt Castiel tug on his shirt and took it off, watching Cas intently as he mapped his constellation of freckles.

“Are you sure, Cas?”

“Yes, Dean. I’m sure. Are you?”

“ _Yes_.”

****

Dean woke up the next day, wrapped around his beautiful boyfriend who was still asleep. He had no idea how he could be this lucky, to have a guy like Castiel. Dean untangled his limbs from Castiel's to reach for the remote on the floor and turn the TV off, which they had forgotten the previous night.

“Last night,” Dean thought dreamily as he pulled Castiel against his chest again, remembering every moment. It was slightly awkward, as it was their first time, yet amazing. Sure, Castiel had struggled with taking Dean’s pants of and Dean’s hands were shaking so much he had problems with the condom wrapper, which made them fall into a fit of giggles. But, it was soft, slow, tender and still passionate all at the same time.

“God, I love you,” Dean whispered, not knowing Castiel was awakened by Dean grabbing the remote. 

“I love you too,” Castiel smiled, turning around slowly so he could look at Dean. It should have scared Dean, using those words and hearing them back. But it didn’t. It made him feel warm inside, a feeling he wasn’t used to but happy to have.

They stayed in bed for a little while longer until they realized they actually had to go to school that day. They were already running late so they didn’t bother to hurry and decided to just show up second period. It took Dean a while to convince Cas, but a few kisses and Cas was persuaded.

Cas took a shower first, which made Dean almost pout. However, Cas was right. They did not have time to take a shower together. When Cas came out of the shower; his hair wet and water trailing down his faint abs, Dean almost wanted to throw him on the bed and not leave for hours. Castiel pushed him towards the bathroom with rosy cheeks and a small smirk and Dean complied.

While Dean took a shower, Castiel stared at the hickey Dean left on his neck. The dark red mark a sign that Dean had claimed him as his. Castiel grinned at himself in the mirror, poking the mark lightly with the tip of his finger.

Dean appeared behind him, his arms wrapping around Castiel’s waist while kissing the hickey gently. His freckled skin was still slightly damp from the shower he just took and his green eyes were sparkling like emeralds. Castiel fell in love with him all over again.

“Come on, you don’t want to be late,” Dean whispered in Castiel’s ear. Cas shivered from Dean’s hot breath on his ear and nodded while gulping. Castiel went to grab a hoodie from his closet, to somehow disguise the fact that he has a hickey on his neck, but Dean took his hand and twirled him around so he collided with his chest.

“Don’t,” Dean nearly growled possessively. “I want to show everyone that your mine.”

Castiel laughed but went downstairs anyways. There was something about Dean claiming him and the look on Lisa’s face that made it worth the definite staring from the entire student body and the teachers.

Well, actually, Dean made it worth it.

The grin when Charlie goodheartedly teased them about the hickey a few hours later was brighter than the sun. And Cas couldn’t be happier.


	16. The Inevitable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst is starting.

Dean awoke to the sound of the front door opening and closing. As a hunter, you are expected to be a light-sleeper. You have to be able to wake up quickly at all costs in case you have to fight something.

Dean took his gun from the nightstand next to him and held it in steady hands. He removed the safety and aimed it forward, protecting his body from the possible intruder. He opened his bedroom door slowly and aimed at the vague figure in front of him. His eyes were still getting used to the darkness; he couldn’t see what it was, but he wasn’t taking any risks.

“Put that gun away, Dean, it’s me,” a voice said unamused. Dean recognized the voice instantly; it was his dad.

“Dad?” Dean asked, slowly lowering his gun. “This was it,” he thought. This is the moment where his life turns to shit again. He should’ve expected this, his father wasn’t going to stay away forever. In his time with Cas, he forgot about his dad, about his old life. Now, it was time to get back to reality. After this night, he was probably never going to see Cas again,

He was going to cause Cas pain and it broke his heart. He loved him, much more than he thought he could. And after the night before, he knew Cas loved him back. If his life was normal, if Dean was normal, they could have built a future together. It was weird to think about the future, especially with Dean being a hunter. He was in life danger every single day on a hunt. His life could be over in a matter of seconds. There was no time to think about the future, yet Dean threw that all out of the window and thought about it every night. Waking up next to Cas every day, kissing him good morning and making breakfast together. Building a home and, in the late future, adopting children. It was too good to be true.

“Wake up, Sammy,” John said, placing a heavy bag on the dinner table. “We’re off to Wisconsin.”

Dean wanted to scream, throw a chair against the wall, beg his dad to not do this to them. However, he followed his dad’s orders, as always, without saying a word.

“Come on, Sammy, we have to go.”

“What? Where?” Sam asked, his eyes still squinted for sleepiness. Sam looked much younger than he was when he was sleepy. Dean usually thought it was quite cute to see his little brother like this. Now, it gave him a nauseous feeling and a constricted throat. Sam was way too young for the hunting life. He should have a good night’s rest, to be bright and ready for school the next day instead of being woken up in the middle of the night to go on a hunt.

“Dad’s home and wants to take us to Wisconsin, probably the Shtriga case,” Dean explained, noticing how his little brother’s face fell.

“I’ll get ready,” Sam muttered, throwing the blankets back and pulling himself out of bed. Dean nodded and went off to his own room to do the same. A few minutes later they were in the Impala, on their way to Wisconsin.

****

“Fitchburg, Wisconsin” the sign read, “A Place To Call Home.” Sam was still asleep in the backseat while Dean was up the entire trip. He couldn’t sleep, every time he closed his eyes he would imagine the hurt, tears streamed face of the boy he loved. It was inevitable, this was going to happen. After the hunt is over, John would take them to the next hunt like he always did. Dean would have to leave Cas, for both of their sakes. Dean was never good enough for the angel-like boy anyway.

John drove them to a motel, arranging a room for the three of them. It had been a long drive and Dean was incredibly sleep deprived. All he wanted to do was lay down on one of those weird smelling, bumpy motel beds and sleep. Though, he didn’t dare to. Not with John Winchester in the room.

“The Shtriga will most likely strike again tonight, be prepared,” John said, handing Dean a gun. “This contains consecrated iron rounds, if it feeds, kill it. Same goes for you, Sammy.”

John put on the television for Sam and ushered Dean to the other side of the room. Dean knew what was coming. There was one consistent thing while hunting, the lecture John was about to give Dean.

“You know the drill, anybody calls, you don’t pick up. If it’s me, I’ll ring once and then call back. You got that?”

Dean certainly did. After all, he could mouth them along with John if he wanted to. He nodded and John continued.

“If I’m not back before tomorrow night, call pastor Jim. Lock the doors, the windows, close the shades. And most important?”

“Watch out for Sammy.”

“Something tries to bust in…”

“Shoot first, ask questions later.”

And with that, John shot a goodbye at Sam, gave Dean a nod and took off. Dean had wanted to ask him many times before, “What about me?”, however, he restrained himself. Sammy was the most important, it always has been that way. Ever since they were little there wasn’t a moment where Dean thought he might be number 1 in John’s eyes. Everything Sam did was amazing, even if Sam and John had a discussion, John adored him. Dean, on the other hand, had to fear for his life if he talked back. All Dean ever wanted was some approval from his dad, but he most likely will never get it.  

Dean sat down next to Sam, watching the mindless reality show with him. He couldn’t concentrate on the show, instead, he let his thoughts wander. Memories from his first time with Cas pops up, Dean nearly cried then and there.

“Why did dad have to take us with him?” Sam asked after minutes of tense silence. Dean broke out of his restless mind and turned to face his brother.

“Why are you questioning him?” Dean shot back. After everything, he still defends John and his behavior.

“Maybe he wants to use us as bait,” Sam spat bitterly. Dean wanted to call him out on saying stupid things, but perhaps it wasn’t as stupid of a thought after all. Although John would never use Sam as bait, he would definitely use Dean. John would never leave Sam home alone, so he had to come with them. In the end, though, it was about Dean. Just not in a good way. Risking his son’s life for a hunt? It’s not like John had many morals left anyway.

Dean felt one single tear running down his cheek and wiped it away angrily. He ignored Sam’s pained expression and turned back to the show.

Sam was asleep on Dean’s shoulder when Dean heard the sound. It was the sound of whispering in a language Dean didn’t understand. Dean slowly pushed Sam so he was laying on the couch instead of his shoulder and headed outside, his gun ready in his hands. Once Dean was outside, he searched around, purposely staying close to the motel room to look out for Sam. Suddenly he saw a faint figure with cloak flowing in the wind. The creature extended his hands to the doorknob of their motel room, revealing long, sharp nails. Dean aimed his gun as soundlessly as possible, but the creature had already turned its head and sent Dean flying to the other side of the hallway.

Dean hit his head hard and nearly blacked out, the stars swirling before his eyes. That’s when he heard the familiar roar of the Impala and his dad rushing out.

John practically flew up the stairs in into the motel room. Dean tried to get up without fainting and hurried inside as well. There was a bright blue light coming out of the Shtriga’s mouth as he fed on Sam, taking his life force. John shot the Shtriga in the head and watched it fall down on the ground, away from Sam.

Sam was gasping for air, scurrying of the couch and behind Dean. John shot the Shtriga a couple more times until it let out some type of smoke; the life force of the children in the hospital. All that was left of the creature was its black cloak.

“Sammy! Are you okay?” John asked frantically, pulling Sam into a tight hug. John held him close, ruffling Sam’s hair every so often while giving Dean murderous looks.

“What happened?” John asked, his voice strangely calm.

“I heard a sound and I went out,” Dean replied, not daring to look down. He couldn’t avoid his dad’s eyes, he knew that.

“What?” John asked, more forceful this time. He was trying to keep himself under control for Sammy. However, he looked at Dean with disappointment clear in his eyes, which was worse than screaming.

“I thought-”

“You nearly got him killed, Dean! I ordered you to watch out for Sammy and you let him out of you sight.”

“I’m sorry, sir.”

John averted his eyes and focused back on Sam, leaving Dean standing in the middle of the room with an empty heart and a huge amount of guilt weighing him down.

They left in the morning. It was the plan to immediately drive off to the next town, but Sam somehow convinced their dad to let them stay one more day. They arrived at their flat around 2 am. John told them to pack their stuff beforehand because he was going to pick them up after school. He drove off and the brother’s went inside.

One still shaken up from the previous night, excited to see his friends one last time.

And one who couldn’t get the image of his little brother almost dying out his head, dreading to see his boyfriend the next day, but knowing he had no other choice.

Sam tried to talk to Dean, explaining how it isn’t his fault. Dean didn’t listen, drowning himself in guilt and self-loathing as usual. He hugged Sam goodnight and went off to his room, letting himself fall on top of his bed.

Dean decided to check his phone, even though possible messages from Cas would be bittersweet. He had a few missed texts from Cas, asking him if he was alright and telling him about his day. They usually texted or called every day if they were apart, as cheesy as it sounds. Dean texted him back that he was okay and that he would see him tomorrow. Cas was probably suspicious, after the insecurities about Lisa, Dean wouldn’t be surprised if Cas was hurt. Dean did break everything he touched.

Dean fell asleep with one final thought.

“Cas would be better off without him.”


	17. Here's To Those We've Left Behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me.

Dean placed the photo of him and Mary between some shirts to keep it safe for the ride. They’ve moved a lot ever since John started hunting, more times than Dean can count. Though, this time, it’s the hardest one yet. It beats the moving from his family home back when he was just 4 years old. Dean knew the reason but refused to think about it.

He never expected to meet a shy, blue-eyed boy with a surprisingly big mouth if you got to know him. He never expected to take a liking to the boy, to want more than just making out in a janitor's closet like he used to at the previous high schools. He never expected to fall in love.

But it happened and it hurt. Dean suddenly understood the sappy romantic comedies he watched when nobody was around. The crying, locking yourself up in a room, actually feeling your heartbreak as if it was made of glass and somebody threw it against a wall.

Today was the last day of school and Dean was definitely not ready.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said with a grin that used to melt Dean’s heart. Now it felt like he was punched in the gut. He was never going to see that grin again.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean mumbled, kissing Castiel’s forehead in the process. The familiar smell of soap, cinnamon and a hint of vanilla, that was undoubtedly Castiel, hit his nose, which nearly brought him to tears. Dean told himself that he could do this, pretend like everything was normal for the rest of the day. Now, he wasn’t so sure.

“Are you okay?” Castiel asked, his eyes big and full of concern. Dean nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“I’m fine.”

“I understand,” Castiel replied, his face falling. He quickly composed himself with an admirable poker face. Dean wanted to tell him everything, but he couldn’t. It would be too dangerous for Cas and, besides that, there was a huge chance Cas wouldn’t believe him. It wasn’t a risk Dean was willing to take.

“How was your weekend?” Castiel asked, clearly fishing for information about last night. They usually called or texted each other when they were apart. They always answered their phones as quickly as they could. Dean expected Castiel to be suspicious, but he couldn’t tell him and it tore him apart.

“Good,” Dean said, creating as much distance between them without being obvious. Being near Cas hurt too much. Dean couldn’t do it. He was supposed to savor this moment, this last day, but it was too difficult. Dean wanted to pull him close but push him away at the same time. It wasn’t fair to Cas; loving someone who would never be good enough. Cas deserved so much more. Cas must know that as well.

“What’s wrong with you?!” Castiel suddenly snapped, stopping Dean in his tracks. All eyes turned to them, trying to figure out what happened. Dean was shocked, to say the least, Castiel had never raised his voice, not to him.

“Everything,” Dean whispered, his throat constricted by tears and turned away, disappearing into the sea of people.

Castiel couldn’t concentrate on the words his teacher was saying. Not after the hallway incident.

Dean was acting weird and Cas should have seen it coming. With someone like Dean; a huge flirt who is charismatic and incredibly attractive, it was just a matter of time. Cas couldn’t tell if he was mad at Dean or himself for not guarding his heart as well as he should have.

There was always something going on between them, Lisa and Dean. She was popular and beautiful and Cas, well, he wasn’t. It would only be natural for Lisa and Dean to get together some day. But the worst part? Dean didn’t even care enough to tell him. Cas thought he meant more, especially after… No, he wasn’t going to think of that night. Losing his virginity to a guy who didn’t even love him was bad enough, thinking about it would only make it worse.

To Cas, these past few weeks were a bliss he didn’t come out of. But the real world caught up with him again, and here he was, alone and struggling to keep himself from crying. It wasn’t fair.

They avoided each other during lunch. Charlie definitely noticed, however, she wisely didn’t say anything about it. Even Kevin looked up from his study material to glance between the two of them, only to return to reading with a frown.

Castiel couldn’t get out of the cafeteria fast enough once the bell rang and Dean followed quickly but was headed the other way. Unfortunately, he couldn’t ignore Charlie.

“What happened between the two of you?” Charlie demanded more than she asked, one eyebrow raised. She looked seriously scared at the moment.

“Charlie-”

“You were all lovey-dovey and now you’re ignoring each other!”

“We had a fight, okay. Nothing to worry about, it’ll be okay.” Dean reassured though he knew better. He would leave after school and never return. Sure, Cas will be heartbroken for a while, but eventually, he would realize Dean was only holding him down.

“You better fix this, Dean.” Charlie said, poking him in the chest with her index finger and flipping her hair while walking away.

Dean sighed and lifted his bag higher on his back, walking to class as if nothing happened. As if his mind wasn’t overflowing with the nice memories of him and Cas. As if his heart wasn’t breaking further with each minute, because he knew the end was near. As if it wasn’t killing him inside.

Besides the constant lump in his throat, the prickling eyes and the self-loathing, his day was very normal. Dean still attended every class, answered questions and took stuff out of his locker at the end of the day. That was until…

“Dean!” A chipper voice nearly screamed from the other end of the hallway. Dean was just stuffing some books in his backpack before he turned around confused. “Well, hello there.”

Dean would recognize that high-pitched, flirty tone anywhere.

“Not now Lisa,” Dean sighed. He was way too tired for this. He didn’t get any sleep the night before and this whole situation wasn’t helping either.

“I heard you were fighting with your little boyfriend,” Lisa mocked with a fake pout on her glossed lips. “Did you finally realize you’re too good for him?”

“It’s the other way around actually,” Dean said, a rising anger in his voice. Lisa didn’t look fazed. It only spurred her on more.

“I can make you forget about him,” she whispered in Dean’s ear, trailing her long pedicured nails over his arm. It left goosebumps on his skin, but not the good kind. Of course Lisa thought she did a good job and continued her flirting. “Come with me.”

“No,” Dean said through gritted teeth. He wasn’t going to lose his cool, not in an overcrowded hallway, but she was really pushing it. “Lisa, stop.”

Lisa’s eyes held a weird sparkle as if she was up to something. Thinking of doing stuff with her instead of Cas, made Dean feel sick. It wasn’t right, this wasn’t his boyfriend.

In his daze of thoughts, he didn’t notice Lisa coming closer and closer until it was too late. She pressed her lips against his and threw her body against his chest. Dean was too stunned to do anything, so he stood there, frozen like a statue for a few seconds, before pushing her off. He looked around, hoping that nobody saw him. He saw the shocked and disappointed faces from his friends. Charlie stood out, her expression angry but her eyes sad. She was the first friend he made at the school, a genuine friend, someone who liked him and all of his secret dorkiness. She was like the sister he never wanted, but couldn’t live without if you asked him. To see her like this, her jaw tight and her glare angrier with the second felt like a slap in his face. He averted his gaze, he couldn’t look at her anymore.

Blue met green and the world stopped. Castiel’s eyes were glazed over with unfallen tears. To anyone else, his face would look like stone, guarded even, but Dean knew better. Over time he had figured Castiel out, he knew him like the back of his hand. And this expression, was the definition of hurt. Dean felt like he was going to throw up.

Dean pushed Lisa out of the way, ignoring the shriek behind and ran. He couldn’t find Cas, the blue-eyed boy had disappeared before his eyes. Dean was in a blind panic. He frantically looked everywhere, the toilets, classrooms, hallways. By the time he ran outside, Dean was struggling to breathe, tears dribbling down his face as an unstoppable waterfall. He punched a wall, giving in to the frustration. He clutched his chest, which was hurting more than his fist and let himself fall to the ground. Resting his head against the stone, cold wall. He should go after Cas, but his legs weren’t moving.

A small hand gently squeezed his shoulder. “We have to go, Dean,” the voice said. Dean opened his eyes slowly and his little brother came to view. They didn’t speak, but Sam knew, Dean was sure of that.

He got into the Impala and they drove off, leaving everything behind. Because that is what Cas was.

His everything.


	18. Big Boys Don't Cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. Again.

Castiel ran until his legs gave out. The tears blinded his vision and his head was pounding from the already leaked tears. He clutched his chest and cried in a silent scream. He couldn’t stop; every time Cas thought the tears would stop falling, new ones were there to proof him wrong.

He arose from his sitting position and walked home, slower, this time, to avoid falling. Once he was home, he dropped himself on his bed, ignoring the calls from his parents or brethren. Castiel closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

****

“Stop sulking, son.” John’s booming voice called Dean out of his thoughts. He was trying to forget about Cas, yet no avail. It was his fault, really. He knew they always moved around, that we would have to leave Cas behind. He was too scared to stand up against John. There was no way he could run from him. John would find him again, no matter what.

“Sorry, Dad,” Dean said, hoping John wouldn’t notice the sneer in his voice. If he had just let a normal life. Everything would be different. He loved Cas, he still does. He had told Cas he loved him, which didn’t happen a lot,

Sure, he tells his brother sometimes. Whenever Sam was sad or when he was having nightmares again. He said it to soothe him, to put his little brother’s mind to ease.

He told his mother when he was little when his world was still right. He told his mother to show gratitude whenever she made him a pie or after a “good night” because she told him first.

But Cas? He told Cas because he wanted to. Because in that moment, he didn’t feel anything except love and affection for the blue-eyed boy. Because after everything, Cas stayed. Because it was the truth and Cas deserved to know.

“Well, I’m happy you are out of that school and you should be too,” John said, giving Dean a pointed look in the meantime. Sam was asleep in the backseat, tired from school and the car ride. He looked young like this, way too young to be involved. It reminded Dean of that infamous night. The night that changed it all.

Dean had woken up to his dad yelling and Sam crying from the bedroom across from him. Dean, already very curious at such a young age, went to explore. He had smelled the smoke once he opened the door and saw the flames after. It had spread everywhere, as far as Dean could see. John had blocked the way, his little brother in his arms. His dad came rushing towards him, the baby secure in his arms.

“Daddy?”

“Take your brother outside as fast as you can. Don’t look back. Now, Dean, go!” Dean gripped the bundle tight but gentle and ran.

“It’s okay, Sammy,” Dean had said before John lifted him up and ran with the both of them before something exploded inside the house.

From that day on, John was determined to find the creature responsible for Mary’s death. It had taken over his life. Even his sons weren’t important anymore, maybe Sam but not Dean. Sam knew, Dean knew and maybe that was the worst of all.

Dean’s life was already a series of loss and disappointment. From the first gun he made that John didn’t even praise him for to the yelling. John yelled and screamed when he did something wrong, just as much as he yelled and screamed when Dean didn’t do anything.

Dean figured he reminded his dad too much of Mary. The eyes and the color of his hair. Though, it wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t be punished for something he couldn’t do anything about.

And now, he lost Cas. The one person who made everything okay again. The person he felt close enough to, to let down his guard. Cas had broken his walls a long time ago. As cliché as it sounds, it was the truth. Dean had closed himself off to everybody, even his little brother. But Cas swept in and demolished every single brick he built his walls with.

This wasn’t just a case of missing someone anymore. Dean felt incomplete as if a big part of his soul vanished. Maybe this was what soulmates were supposed to be like. Dean just lost his, and he was never getting him back.

“You’re a man, Son. You are not supposed to be kissing boys. I hope you learn from this,” John grumbled. “Don’t ever contact him again.”

“Yes, sir.”

****

Cas had skipped dinner. In fact, he never came downstairs after falling on top of his bed. He barely even moved. His head was swimming. Faint memories of the days where everything was still right swirled in one big mass. His tears had long since dried. His eyes were hurting from the dryness. Cas felt empty as if someone took a piece of him and threw it away.

Cas had fallen, in every way possible. He never fell in love, he was too busy with school or just too shy. But Dean came and everything slowly changed. Cas never meant for it to go this far. He was just intrigued by the guy with the dazzling green eyes and little freckles spread across his face. But then Cas got to know him, the underlying personality of Dean Winchester. Then, all bets were off.

He slowly unraveled the mystery before him, the complex boy with the broken past. Of course, Cas didn’t know everything. However, he knew enough. Dean had trusted him with the kind of personal information that shocked Cas. It made him feel special, Dean had made him feel special. Yet, all of that came crashing down hard.

Maybe Dean had used him. Maybe Cas was just an easy lay to Dean. Cas really thought they had something. Something unexplainable. He was happier than he felt in years with Dean. Now, every bit of happiness was crushed. The same guy that once brought a smile on his face now caused the salty tears on his cheeks.

Nothing felt right.

“Freckles” it said on the brightly lighted phone next to Cas. He tried hard not to tear up at the nickname he once gave Dean. He never changed it after exchanging their phone numbers. Dean was calling him, but Cas couldn’t pick up. He couldn’t bear the lies he was about to be told. It was too much.

Cas let the phone ring until it stopped. Then, he fell asleep.

Castiel woke up with 23 text messages and even more missed calls. He was tired from the haunting nightmares and weak. So he mustered enough courage and called back.

Nobody picked up, not this day and not the days after.

Cas got worse. He still refused to eat, he didn’t do his homework anymore and memories of Dean and Lisa kissing followed him even in his sleep. He nearly punched Lisa in the face the next morning but withdrew at the last moment. It wasn’t her fault, not entirely.

His friends were worried; Charlie had tried to talk to him a dozen times, but he changed the subject whenever he could. Kevin called from time to time, checking up on him. Cas always said he was fine, even though he felt the exact opposite.

Dean ignored every call and every text, after a while, Cas just gave up.

What Cas didn’t know, is that Dean had to throw his phone away.

“What is this?” John had asked, his tone dangerous. Dean feared him like this, knowing he was seconds away from a shouting match.

“I’m sorry-”

“No, I have had enough,” John yelled, pointing at the call history on Dean’s phone. He had taken Dean’s phone and held it up when they were on the road again, racing down the highway. He had given the phone to Dean with a snarl telling him to “throw the damn thing away”. Dean hesitated, knowing this phone was the only way to reach Cas. But his father had shouted and Dean wasn’t brave enough.

His heart broke when he heard the phone fall on the road, the clattering of glass imprinted in his memories.

****

Castiel found the photograph days after. It was laying on top of various important items in a cardboard box underneath his bed. Along with his first stuffed animal, photographs of his family, shells from that one beach he and his family often went to when he was little,

It was a photograph of Dean and Cas, kissing in front of a Christmas tree. It was the day when they went ice-skating with Sam and Jess. Sam had taken the photo and developed it in school. He gave it to Cas and Dean after with a glint of happiness in his eyes. Castiel had beamed and Sam and hugged the smaller kid close, whispering a “thank you” in his ear. Dean was still bright red when Cas pulled out of the hug and had shoved his little brother with a small smile.

Cas grimaced at the photo, a bitter-sweet feeling settling in his stomach. He closed his eyes and ripped the photograph in two with one movement of his arms. Fresh tears came rolling down his cheeks with every rip of the photo until there was nothing left but little pieces on his bedroom floor.


	19. Collide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated! YAY! I finally have some free time, so there will be more updates and one-shots and stuff. My test went great btw :) Enjoy this new chapter!

_10 Years Later_

Dean finished unpacking the last box, place the picture of him and his mom on the fireplace. If you have told 17-year-old Dean that he would escape the hunting life, he would have never believed you. He couldn’t say he missed it; the lurking danger wherever you went, the endless possibilities of death, the monsters. Though he did like the saving people part. That never changed.

After those few months of high school, after Cas, they hunted for another year. Sam was distant again, only speaking when spoken to. He missed his friends, the normal life. And Dean? Dean missed Cas. Even though he banned himself for thinking about those almost electric blue eyes, no avail. It still hurts whenever he thinks of him. Especially how he left him; hurt and broken. Exactly how Dean felt while watching the high school disappear in the front view mirror, driving to another place with a new danger.

Bobby, the lifesaver, called one day. John was drunk, which wasn’t new, Sam and Dean were kind of used to it by know. They sat together in silence on their shared motel bed, listening to John and Bobby screaming at each other. John had hung up and packed their bags in a tense silence. He ordered the boys to get in the car. They didn’t call John out on his drunk driving, how he shouldn’t be doing this in his state, how it’s too dangerous and they could possibly die in a car crash.

Luckily they made it safely to Bobby’s house. It was a big terrain, parts of cars spread across the yard. Bobby was already standing on the front porch, waving at Sam and Dean. They got out, the smell of motor oil and plain heat filling their noses. Sam ran towards Bobby, Dean following after at a walking pace. They expected John to follow behind, not to throw Dean the car keys and get into a different car, already parked close by. It took Dean a few seconds to realize that his dad was leaving them.

Bobby was a great man, he took Dean to the park, playing catch instead of gun practice. He would have been an amazing dad. He often was like that for him and his brother anyways. When they were just a burden to John, too young to come with him on the hunt, he would often drop them at Bobby’s place. They would have a great time together, Bobby teaching him how to fix cars, reading lore with Sammy.

This wouldn’t be an awful place to grow up, as a matter of fact probably healthier than their normal lives, especially for Sam. But John is still his father, and Dean still loves him even though he had done so many things wrong.

Dean didn’t object when John took his stuff out of the trunk of the Impala, Dean didn’t make a sound when John got into the other car, Dean just placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder in reassurance even if he didn’t know what was going on.

“You boys are stayin’ with me for a while,” Bobby grunted as he lifted the bags of both Dean and Sam. They followed Bobby into his house, the comforting feeling of a familiar place settling warmly in their chests.

Bobby pushed Dean to go back to school, finish his senior year and go to college. Sam was delighted to go back to school, he loved that place, but not Dean. He saw Cas everywhere, in the hallways, sitting next to him on the bleachers when the sun was shining. He even felt the faintest touch of soft lips pecking his sometimes, or a warm hand holding his own.

It took him awhile, but he managed to live without him. Sure, his heart still skipped a beat when his phone rang, or butterflies arising when he saw someone with eyes that held quite the resemblance to Cas’s. In the end, he had to remind himself that it was better this way. He, the broken ex-hunter, would never be enough.  

Sam eventually encouraged him to finish school and taking classes at college. Dean took engineering as course and studied hard for the next … years. He got his degree and set up his own garage in a quiet town close to Bobby’s home.

Of course, Sam graduated cum laude in high school and went off to Harvard, fulfilling his long- time dream to study law. Bobby and Dean couldn’t be prouder when they dropped him off at the campus. It was a full day traveling to get to the university, but the curious and excited glimmer in Sam’s eyes made it all worth it.

Dean got his life back on the rails. He didn’t think about Cas as often anymore. Dean finally managed to mend his broken heart.

The same could be said about Cas.

After Dean left, his world kind of collapsed. He often forgot to eat, spends endless nights thinking about him without sleeping for one minute. His homework started to pile up and his friends had enough. They had to pull Cas out of the gutter.

Cas saw that what he was doing, was very wrong. He shouldn’t do this to himself, not over some guy that broke his heart. He was stronger than this.

With this motivation in mind, he coursed through his homework, finishing everything before the deadlines. He worked hard, his nights now spend with books instead of tears. He began to smile again, a real smile, not the fake one he had put on his face for those days of pain. The bags underneath his eyes disappeared and he wasn’t purely living on caffeine anymore. Everything was right again.

He graduated with all of his friends, including throwing his hat into the air and taking pictures with everyone he had to leave behind. His friends promised him to call him as much as they could, and they never broke that promise.

Cas started college and got a degree in English Literature, starting a teaching career at the local high school in a quiet town he now called home. After graduating from college, Cas wanted to leave the bigger town and settle for a smaller, peaceful one.

Well, it was peaceful. Until that one day he ran out of eggs during his dinner making and had to run to the supermarket.

It was cliché, really. They both reached for the last egg carton, holding it until the other let go. Castiel turned around to argue about how he really needed those eggs, but his jaw hung slack instead as his eyes fell on the stranger.

It was in fact, without a doubt, Dean Winchester.

Cas wanted to run and never look back, but he was frozen in his place. Dean had grown older, his hair shorter and his body more muscular. But he could recognize those eyes anywhere. They were the same emerald green that showed his love for Cas before he told him, the same eyes that stared at Cas fondly when Cas was a blushing because of Dean, it was those eyes that stared at him after making out with Lisa Braeden.

Upon that memory, Cas unfroze and thrusted the eggs into Dean’s hands, storming out of the supermarket. He didn’t need those stupid eggs anyway.

This town should’ve helped him forget Dean. A new environment, new people, that would be good for him he thought. But no, his past was going to haunt him everywhere.

Cas was having none of it, Dean cheated on him and left without explanation. He didn’t need him in his life, he was poison. That’s what Cas’s reaction should have been. However, the butterflies flying around in his stomach betrayed him, yet again.  


	20. Everything Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOLLOW US ON [TWITTER](https://twitter.com/TooManyFanfics) FOR UPDATES ABOUT BLUE EYES, OTHER FANFICTION AND OUR PERSONAL LIVES. WE FOLLOW EVERYBODY BACK!

Castiel was panting when he finally reached his house. He opened his front door and closed it, falling against the hard wood, his hands clutched in his hair. He tried so hard to forget Dean, to forget their entire relationship ever existed. But his past was haunting him, even a different city.

Dean was still in the supermarket, the eggs in his hand. He couldn’t move, just replay that scene over and over in his head. The shocked look on Castiel’s face, the hurt that followed shortly after. It was all too much.

He eventually got himself together and paid for those eggs. He should visit Cas, bring him the eggs since he ran out of there before buying anything. If only he knew where Castiel lived.

Dean figured people would know in a small town like this. It took him a while but he eventually got the information he needed from a tiny, old lady in the flower shop next to the supermarket.

If Castiel told him to leave, he would. Dean hurt him badly and Castiel had every right to reject him. But Dean could, at least, try right? Even after all of these years, the feelings for Cas never fully disappeared. There was a constant dull ache inside of him; reminding him of what he had done. Reminding him that he lost Cas forever. It was a feeling Dean couldn’t bear, so he studied a lot and worked hard to forget. It got him where he is now, and he is content this way. But not fully happy, not like he was when Cas was still around.

Even if they don’t get back together, friends would be amazing too. To have Cas in his life, even if it was only for one minute a week, it would be perfectly fine. Dean never thought he could care as much for Cas as he cared for his little brother or Bobby. It was scary, to love someone like that. But when they love you back, man, that’s the best feeling in the world.

“What am I going to do, Charlie?!” Castiel nearly screamed into his phone, his heartbeat picking up the speed.

“Talk to him,” Charlie suggested, her voice sweet and reassuring. “Maybe you can talk about what happened back in high school and you get some closure.”

“I don’t need closure, Charlie. I need him approximately 1000 feet away from me!”

“Do you really mean that?” No, he didn’t. Of course, he didn’t. He wanted to hold Dean close, kiss his lips just once more. Relive the feeling of the past. But it was too late, Dean broke his heart and he was not the “second chances” type of guy.

About fifteen minutes later Castiel finally clicked the “end call” button. Charlie had tried to convince him some more, and, yes, she was very good at that. Castiel vowed to himself that he would talk to Dean if he ever saw him again. With a town like this, the chances were very high they would meet again.

What he didn’t expect was for it to happen so soon.

The doorbell rang a kind of urgency to it. Castiel didn’t need to look for him to know who was ringing his doorbell.

He walked slowly, giving himself some time to calm down and push his nerves away. Castiel opened the door and was once again hit with the beauty Dean had become in those past ten years.  He was always handsome, but this is out of worldly.

Castiel didn’t know Dean was thinking the exact same thing. Castiel’s eyes were still the vibrant blue Dean could recognize anywhere, his dark hair still messy, but a more controlled kind of messy know.

They stood there for a moment, staring at each other. The world around them disappeared, and it was just like all those years ago.

“Can I come in?” Dean finally asked, a faint smile hinting at his lips. Castiel opened the door further, cursing himself about the vow he made a few minutes earlier. This wasn’t supposed to happen this soon. He wasn’t ready.

“Do you want something to drink?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Silence. The awkward kind. Never did they ever have an awkward kind of silence in the time they spent together. Everything really has changed, hasn’t it.

“Why are you here, Dean?” Castiel sighed. It was clear they needed to talk about everything that had happened. And that wasn’t going to happen if they just kept standing there, inspecting each other.

“We need to talk,” Dean replied, shuffling a bit closer to Cas, who stepped back. Dean tried to stop the hurt from showing, but it wasn’t like Cas cared anyway, right? Cas was cold towards him, distant. He deserved it, he knew that, but it broke his heart even further just when he thought he had glued the pieces back together.

“So talk,” Castiel snapped. “You are the one who cheated, Dean. If you have to say something, then say it.”

“You’re right, I am the one who cheated. But it wasn’t-”

“Wasn’t what? Your fault?” Castiel laughed bitterly. “Please.”

“No, you don’t understand,” Dean tried, stepping away a bit.

“Then explain!” Castiel yelled, moving forward until he was in Dean’s personal space. Castiel was on the brim of tears, pure hurt and anger coursing through his veins. After all these years and Dean still had the audacity to lie to him?

“I can’t, okay!” Dean yelled back, his voice cracking.

“Why did you leave, Dean?” Castiel whispered, the tears finally falling. Dean reached up to wipe the tears away, but he decided against it and let his arm fall back against his side.

“I’m sorry, Cas.” He couldn’t tell Castiel. It wasn’t safe. He told himself he wouldn’t go back to the hunting life, to forget all about it. He couldn’t possibly tell Cas the real reason why he left.

“Get out,” Castiel said, his voice almost strangled as if he was trying to keep his emotions from flowing out.

“Cas, please,” Dean begged, stepping even closer. They were nose to nose now, closer than they have been in years. Dean could feel the familiar warmth radiating of Castiel. He wanted to dive back into the past, in the time where everything was still right.

But he couldn’t.

“Get out!” Castiel snapped, his face turning away from Dean. He couldn’t look at him, not right now. Not when Dean was still lying about everything. All Castiel wanted was the truth, but he wasn’t going to get it. Dean had no reason to still be in his presence.

Castiel could see Dean staring at his from the corner of his eyes before Dean gave up and turned away. Castiel bit his lip to prevent him from sobbing right then and there. He heard the front door open and fall into the lock. Then, he let himself fall to the floor, cradling his face in his hands as the tears poured out of his eyes.


	21. Just Let Me Explain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! For those who didn't know, I was ill for the longest time. But I feel fine now :)
> 
> Thank you for all the concern and lovely comments <3

Castiel had vowed to himself that he would never let Dean Winchester hurt him again. Yet, here he is, on the cold hard floor, the tear streaks on his cheeks drying. He didn’t know how long he was sitting there, he just felt numb all over.

They didn’t talk, not properly. Cas still didn’t know entirely what happened that one day in senior year. It happened ten years ago, but it still felt like it happened yesterday. Especially when that day usually haunted his dreams and turned them into nightmares. More than once he woke up in a cold sweat, tears flowing freely. He blamed Dean for this pain, but in the end, he never stopped loving him. It was probably not the healthiest relationship, but it was one of the truest.

‘If I see him again, I’ll invite him back. Talk it out this time,’ Castiel promised himself, feeling his breathing calm down. With these words in mind, he stood from the floor, rubbed his bum as it hurt from the time he spend crying against the front door and poured himself a glass of water. He gulped it down with a sudden urgency he couldn’t place.

****

Dean hit the steering wheel of the Impala with a great force, nearly setting off the horn. He mumbled a quick apology to Baby, it wasn’t her fault.

He should have told Cas. He should have told him about the whole hunter thing. But putting Cas in some kind of danger with this knowledge was almost worse than losing him. Almost. In the end, if Cas did forgive him after an explanation, he would always be there to protect Cas.

Dean gripped his hair in frustration. What was he supposed to do? Why couldn’t life be easy for once? He knew telling the truth was dangerous and there was a huge possibility Cas would never believe him. But what if he did? What if Cas believed him and he understood why all of this happened? Dean would be there, he could protect Cas against every kind of evil there. Even if they were just friends, not even lovers… Hell, they could be strangers for all Dean cared, if Cas knew, Dean could keep him safe; teach him all about the supernatural and how to defend himself.

Maybe telling him wasn’t so bad after all.

Dean vowed to himself that once he saw Cas again, he would tell him the truth. He figured he owed him that much. Besides, there was a small chance Cas understood and forgave him for everything. Dean was willing to take the risk.

****

With a town like this, the two of them meeting again was bound to happen someday. Funnily enough, it was in the same damn supermarket.

Cas’s eyes widened when he noticed the familiar leather jacket. He tried to hide, he really did, but because of his natural clumsiness, he bumped against some boxes of cereal and watched them fall in horror. Dean, with the senses of a hunter, turned around immediately, ready to take on anything that was about to attack him.

Well, he was ready for almost anything. Not Castiel with his huge almost innocent blue eyes and as always tousled hair. Not Cas who was looking at him as if he was about to either throw up or faint.

Dean couldn’t bring out any words, just kept staring into those eyes he started loving all of those years ago. It was Castiel who spoke up first, his eyes averting from Dean’s, instead staring at the mess on the dirty supermarket floor.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas,” Dean replied, sighing at himself. He remembered what he had promised himself. He had to do this, even if it was the last thing he did. “Could we maybe-”

“We need to-”

They spoke at the same time, Dean smiling and Castiel blushing. It was almost as if they were back in high school when Dean smirking at Cas and Castiel smiling because of it was a usual thing. Now, it felt familiar, yet completely foreign at the same time.

“You go first,” Dean offered, breaking the moment when he felt the awkwardness rising. If this was Castiel telling him to lay off, he would. He would never do something Cas wasn’t comfortable with.

“I think we should have another conversation,” Castiel said, his eyes finding Dean’s again. “And talk, this time, not just yelling.”

“Yeah, I agree. You can come to my place, I’ll even give you a tour,” Dean said, almost face-palming himself immediately after. Castiel wanted to talk and he ruined it already. Instead of frowning, like Dean, though Cas would do, Castiel actually smiled.

“Is nine okay?”

“Nine is perfect.”

Castiel gave Dean his phone number and told him to text with the address. With that they went their separate ways, both already excited yet anxious for tonight. It was a chance to make or break everything they still had left. At this point everything was fragile, easily broken by the wrong words. They had to be careful or they would lose everything they ever had together.

****

Nine came by quicker than both of them anticipated. Castiel recognized the address as a street with small yet nice apartments. He walked as it wasn’t far from his house and froze when he saw the apartment complex.

‘This is it,’ he thought, looking the apartments up and down. He could make or break this. To say he was nervous would have been an understatement. Butterflies were fluttering around in his stomach, well, they were kind of having a rave. His heart jumped every few seconds and his breathing quickened.

Cas tried to muster all of his bravery and walked up to the door, calling the correct number.

“Hey, Cas. I’ll buzz you in,” Dean said on the other end of the line. The metallic door opened slightly and Castiel pushed it further, walking inside.

He made it to Dean’s front door and knocked before he would do something stupid like turn around and run away. The door opened immediately after he knocked, telling Cas that Dean was already waiting on the other side.

“Come in,” Dean said softly, unable to keep his voice from trembling. Having Castiel this close already did things with him and this conversation was even more emotional. Dean was still worried, still doubting himself. But he promised himself that he would tell the truth, so he did.

“I’m a hunter,” Dean blurted, his eyes widening with pure shock. He was supposed to prepare Cas for this, not just jump and blurt it out. Poor Castiel was looking more confused than ever.

“Thank you for the trivia, Dean,” Castiel said carefully, trying to get the point of this information. “But maybe what does that have to do with anything?”

“Trust me, not the kind of hunter you think and it has everything to do with it, Cas,” Dean sighed, leading Castiel to the living room and sat down on the couch. Castiel took a seat next to him, leaving enough space between them, but turned around quickly to look at Dean.

“Please explain, I don’t understand.”

“My dad started hunting after my mom was killed by a demon,” Dean started, almost chuckling at Castiel’s shocked expression. “Yeah, those exist.”

“Dean…”

“I know you don’t believe me, but just listen, okay?”

Castiel nodded, tilting his head just the slightest. Dean took a deep breath and told Cas everything. From his dad searching for the demon who killed his mom, to involving Sam and Dean in the hunting life too. Castiel was quiet the entire story, mixture of disbelief and curiosity on his face.

“Dad was hunting this creature in Wisconsin, so he dropped us off in some flat and made us go to high school. This is where you come in. I never expected to fall in love with you, Cas, but it happened. I knew that I would be leaving you, but I never felt like this before and I couldn’t lose you. I ended up losing you anyway,” Dean ended with a bitter smile.

“Dean…”

Dean shook his head, continuing the story. “Lisa kissed me, Cas. I was too shocked to react at first but when I realized what was happening I threw her off of me right away. But you already saw. I tried to run after you, but I had to leave. My dad was already there to pick me up and drive to the next city, the next state.”

“Why did you go with him?” Castiel asked, a sudden lump forming in his throat. “You could have stayed at my place until graduation.”

“I couldn’t disobey my father, he could get quite… physical if he needed to. That would bring you in danger. I’m sorry.”

“I need some time, Dean. I hope you understand that.”

“I do,” Dean said, his smile watery. “I just dropped a huge bomb on you, take all the time you need.”

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel said softly, smiling back reassuringly.

They walked together to Dean’s front door. Dean stood awkwardly, his hands buried deep in his pockets. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

And with that Castiel walked away, breathing in the cold night air before making his way to his house, reminding himself to pick up some books on supernatural creatures tomorrow. It was a lot to take in and Castiel didn’t know if he believed Dean. These supernatural creatures didn’t sound too real and Dean could just make up some story to trick Castiel, to make him forget what he had done in the past. But Castiel was going to take some time and research the things Dean had said. He had to give Dean, at least, the benefit of the doubt.


	22. I'm Falling Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter will be up tomorrow, so look forward to that. It'll probably go up around 10 pm CEST.

The mountain of books grew larger and larger every minute. Cas had claimed this table in the back of the library where nobody ever came as his own and littered it with as many lore books as he could. He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there, reading about the supernatural creatures Dean told him about. At first, Cas was skeptical, these things were just fantasy and couldn’t be real.

As the time passes Cas grew more and more curious about this hidden world. It was weird to know that these creatures have been walking this earth without many people knowing. It was even weirder to know that people have been protecting many others by hunting these things. In a way, Cas felt safe knowing that there were always people looking out for him. People like Dean.

Cas believed him now. It was hard to ignore something that had been pointed out by many sources. Of course, Cas couldn’t know if these sources were telling the truth. But with the amount of information on the subject, even he couldn’t deny the fact that there may be some validity in the books he had read.

It was nearing closing time when Castiel finally left the library. His eyes were hurting from the amount of books he had read. The dull pain was radiating to his head, making him wince when he stepped outside and was blinded by the streetlight. He decided to walk home, maybe some fresh air would help to get rid of his headache.

He made it home safely and made himself some coffee before opening his laptop. He pondered about the words he should pick for the search bar and decided on “supernatural creatures”. Some Wikipedia pages showed up alongside lists of TV shows which aren’t very trustworthy if you’re looking for actual facts.

The Wikipedia pages led him to weird police cases which couldn’t be solved for some reason. Castiel already recognized some of the aspects from a murder case as a werewolf thing where the heart was ripped out of the victim’s chest.

This just confirmed Cas’s thoughts. Everything Dean had told him, was very real. Cas knew he had no time to lose and dialed Dean’s number.

“Cas?”

“Hello, Dean. I know this is a short notice, but…” Castiel bit his bottom lip, sighing before continuing. “Could you please come over? We need to talk. Again.”

Dean sounded nervous when he agreed on coming. He told Cas he would be there in about half an hour as he wasn’t expecting this and had to redress. Castiel chuckled softly at this and the men shared their goodbye’s.

Castiel took this half hour to tidy his living room a bit. Ten minutes later and he was just hunched over to grab some of his students papers when he heard a knock at the door. Dean was probably early, so Cas didn’t think too much of it when he opened the door without looking.

He felt a hard hit on his head, his vision turning black. The last thing he heard were footsteps coming his way before he felt like falling and slipped out of consciousness.

****

There was something off, Dean felt that immediately. The moment he drove into Castiel’s street, something didn’t feel right. Maybe it was his hunter instinct that told him he should be careful. The only thing he knew in that moment, Cas was in trouble.

Dean shot out of his driver’s seat, opening the door and slamming it shut. Castiel’s front door was wide open as if he had left without looking back. Dean ran inside, noticing the small puddle of blood. Dean felt his heart drop to his stomach at the sight.

“Cas?” Dean yelled, but no one was answering. “Cas?!”

Dean screamed and screamed, searching all over the place. By the end, his voice was hoarse and still no sight of Cas. He felt hints of panic shooting through his body, his mind on high alert. Who could have taken Cas?

Dean did the only thing he could think of.

“Bobby? I need your help.”

“Okay, slow down, boy,” Bobby said, gripping his shoulder reassuringly. As soon as Dean called Bobby in panic, Bobby jumped in his car and drove straight to Dean. They were lucky Dean lived so close by, otherwise, Dean would have probably gone crazy by the time Bobby arrived.

“I was supposed to meet him here, he’s gone, Bobby!” Dean nearly screamed, gripping his hair tightly in his hands.

“We’ll find him,” Bobby tried, but it didn’t lessen Dean’s worry. If something happens to Cas, he didn’t know what he would do. It was as if fate was stone set on keeping them apart. Cas’s life was probably in danger and there was nothing Dean could do about it.

“Don’t lose hope just yet.” Dean nodded at those words, giving Bobby a watery smile. His surrogate father was a very wise man, so Dean tried to hold on to those words and think straight. There had to be clues. “Dean, there has been many kidnaps here. It could be a supernatural thing.”

“Why didn’t you say anything, Bobby?”

“I thought you knew. You read the damn newspaper, right?” Dean nearly facepalmed at that. With the moving and the Cas thing, he totally forgot to read the newspaper. Even if he wasn’t a hunter anymore, he still read the newspaper and contacted other hunters. Just in case. He still loved helping people, even if he couldn’t do it himself.

“No, I haven’t. What do they say?”

“People have been kidnapped and showed up death with liquefied intestines,” Bobby explained, keeping a wary eye on Dean. They have encountered this before, they both know what this means.

“Shit.”

Dean’s thoughts were broken by the ringing of his cell phone. He quickly fished it out of his pocket and punched the ‘answer call’ button without even looking.

“Cas?”

“No, it’s Sam,” Sam answered on the other end of the line. “Why would I be Cas?”

“Something happened, Sammy. I bumped into Cas again a few days ago and now he’s gone.”

“What did you do?” There was a pause, just a few moments of silence. “Dean?”

“I didn’t do anything, Sam. But I do think I need your help,” Dean said, rubbing his hand across his mouth.

“I’ll be there.”


	23. It's Time For Second Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the final chapter. Thank you all for the kudos and amazing comments! I hope this last chapter is satisfying and makes up for everything I put Cas and Dean through.  
> I have planned another multi-chapter fic, but I don't know when it's going to be up. It's a fake/pretend relationship trope (cliché I know) and it will be called: "War of Heart" inspired by the song War of Heart by Ruelle.  
> If you want to check it out, just click on our profile sometimes and maybe it's already up.  
> Without further ado, here's the last chapter.

Castiel awoke with two strong arms circling his waist. He was pressed against a muscular chest, warmth radiating off the person next to him. Castiel slowly turned around, the arms just gripping him tighter when he did. Two emerald green eyes met his own, twinkling in the morning sun.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Castiel struggled against Dean’s arms, sitting close to the edge of the bed once Dean released him. “What did we do last night?”

“You know what we did,” Dean smirked, inching closer to Cas, stopping when he noticed Castiel’s distressed expression. “What’s wrong?” Dean asked, his eyes full of concern.

“Where am I?” Castiel asked, his breathing quickening. What the hell happened last night? The only thing he could remember was a knock and a hit to his head. After that just excruciating pain and glowing blue eyes. 

“You’re home…” Dean said carefully, eyeing Cas up and down as if he was trying to determine what’s wrong with him.

“No, I’m not! I probably even slept with you!” Castiel nearly screamed, making Dean jump. “I haven’t forgiven you for the Lisa thing you know.”

“Who’s Lisa?” Dean asked, clearly confused. “Babe, are you okay?”

“I-” Castiel couldn’t speak. It was as if he was frozen, unable to move. It was as if he woke up in some dream world. A world where Dean never cheated, a world where they were together. It probably had to do with some supernatural thing, there was no other explanation. However, in this moment, Cas didn’t care.

“I’m sorry, I think I had a bad dream,” Castiel smiled, trying to reassure Dean. He looked skeptical but didn’t mention it and lifted the duvet.

“Sleep a while longer.” And Cas did just that.

****

“When is Sam going to arrive?” Dean asked Bobby, anxiously checking the time on the arrivals board. Sam had taken the first plane back to South Dakota when he ended the call. It was obvious his big brother needed him, he just didn’t know for what yet.

“In fifteen minutes. Now, stop pacing, boy.”

“Sorry, Bobby,” Dean said, sitting down in one of the chairs. He kept twisting his mother’s ring on his finger as a habit when he was nervous.

Sam arrived in twenty minutes, suitcase in hand and ready to go. Dean had hugged him tightly, nearly breaking down in his brother’s arms. Sam patted him on the back and pulled out of the hug with a worried expression.

Once they were seated in the Impala to drive back to Dean’s place, they told Sam the story. How Dean ran into Cas again, how they were supposed to meet at Cas’s place and how Cas was gone now. Of course they didn’t forget about the other kidnap’s, where the bodies were found with liquefied intestines. Sam recognized the symptoms immediately.

“A Djinn?”

“Bingo,” Dean said to lighten the mood, but wobbling of his voice betrayed him. He was beyond worried and the stress finally hit him. He had to make sure Cas was alright, he had to save him.

“The vic’s have 24 hours. After that, they end up dead, liquefied intestines and a blue handprint where the Djinn touched them,” Sam mumbled to himself, before turning his attention to Dean and Bobby. “We need to be quick.”

“Yeah, I know. They are usually in places where they can hide. Do we have abandoned warehouses or something?”

“We do,” Bobby said, glancing over at Dean who was gripping his steering wheel a bit too tightly, his knuckles turning white.

 “Do you have some African Dream Root left, Bobby?”

“Back at my place, I’ll drive there after you boys get home.”

The drive was silent, both Sam and Bobby occasionally inspecting Dean, making sure he was still doing okay. Well, as okay as he could be. At this point, it wouldn’t surprise either of them if Dean broke down crying. But Dean was holding himself together for Cas. It wouldn’t help Cas if Dean lost it, that’s why needed to keep going. He had no other choice.

When they arrived at Dean’s place, Bobby immediately took off. Sam tried to comfort his brother by talking about anything but Cas, but it wasn’t working. Sam made coffee instead, knowing that they would need it.

“We’ll find him,” Sam said, a strange kind of determination in his voice. He would do anything for Dean even if that meant going on a hunt one last time. They both swore off hunting after they arrived at Bobby’s all those years ago. They hated the lifestyle their dad forced them into. The only thing that kept them going were their dad’s commands and the fact that they were helping people. However, now, they were glad they had the experience. The chances of saving Cas were much higher now.

Sam and Dean found a layout of the town and quickly discovered the abandoned warehouse on the far end of town. Dean was ready to go in, but Sam stopped him.

“The African Dream Root, remember?” Sam gripped his shoulder and gently pushed him back into the chair. “We can’t save Cas without it. It’s tough, but you have to be patient.”

“I know, Sammy, I know.”

The doorbell rang not much later, revealing a grumpy looking Bobby with the African Dream Root and a jar of blood in his hands. Dean let Bobby in and inspected the root.

“Is this enough?”

“Of course it is, ya idjit,” Bobby replied, rolling his eyes in the process. Dean knew better than to question Bobby, but right now, he had to make sure he was able to save Cas. They didn’t have another chance at this.

Lucky for them, Dean always kept some hunting gear in the trunk of Baby. A lot of creatures knew his Dad and with that his sons too. Dean couldn’t be careful enough.

Dean drove them to the warehouse, ignoring every speeding limit. He was looking out for the police, of course, if they got pulled over they would just lose too much precious time. The roads were pretty clear today, so there was no traffic stopping them. It was almost as if fate was helping Dean to save Cas. Not had gone wrong so far and Dean couldn’t be happier.

As soon as they arrived Dean jumped out of the car and handed Bobby and Sam guns just in case. He held onto the silver blade with blood of a lamb and walked to the front door of the warehouse. Sam and Dean had already checked, but there were no other exits. Dean tried to open the door, but the door was closed. Instead, he mustered all of his anger and kicked the door in, letting it fly open with a screech.

They went in without many words, keeping their guns raised in front of them. Their flashlights shone, exploring every corner of the room, but there was nothing. Dean was about to curse, hit, kick everything in sight. Until Sam discovered another door. This door was surprisingly unlocked and as soon as Sam opened it, something flew at him. Sam tried to shoot the thing but missed. Luckily Bobby hit it in the shoulder, which startled the creature enough for Dean to sweep in and plunge the blade in its heart.

Dean quickly recognized the creature as the old lady from the flower shop who pointed him to Castiel’s house only a few days ago. Speaking of Castiel, he was tied up to a chair a few feet away. Dean lunged at him, cradling his head in his hands. Cas was burning up as if he had a high fever. There was a blue handprint on his lower arm, poisoning his body.

“Drink this,” Sam said, handing Dean the African Dream Root. Dean did as told while Bobby grabbed another chair.

“Hit me,” Dean ordered, closing his eyes, ready for the blow. Sam hit him hard, knocking him out cold.

****

The next time Cas awoke, he was alone. The sun had set higher and the bedroom was bathed in sunlight. The bed was very comfortable, with a soft duvet and a mattress that was probably made out of memory foam.

Cas pulled back the covers and slipped out of the bedroom, ready to inspect the house further. That was until the smell of bacon and eggs hit him. Cas followed the smell and was startled by the sight of Dean, cooking breakfast while whistling and without a shirt on. Cas blushed furiously and took a few moments before he joined Dean at the stove.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Dean smiled, turning off the stove and sliding the eggs and bacon on a plate, handing it to Cas.

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas took place at the bar and dug in. He hadn’t noticed how hungry he was until now.

“Are you okay, Cas? This morning, you-”

“I’m fine, it was just a bad dream,” Castiel quickly interrupted. He glanced up at Dean only to find worried eyes looking back. Cas smiled and Dean visibly relaxed. They ate in silence, a comfortable one unlike the silences with the real Dean a few days ago.

Castiel placed the plates in the dishwasher and turned around only to find Dean standing close by. Cas had forgotten how beautiful Dean looked up close, even better now that he was older. Dean really grew out of his baby-face, now graced with a strong jawline and high cheekbones. His freckles luckily remained, that was always one of Cas’s favorite features.

“I’m going to take a shower,” Dean announced, pecking Castiel’s lips. Castiel pulled him back and kissed him for real. After all those years and their kisses still felt familiar. Cas could get used to this. This life was everything he wanted.

The kiss got more heated by the second. Dean lifted Cas on top of the counter and he instinctively opened his legs for Dean to slide between. Castiel gripped Dean’s blonde hair tightly in his hand, pulling him closer and closer.

“Cas?” Castiel pushed Dean away, only to find another version staring at them. His face was a mixture of anger and pure shock, blending together in the most terrifying way.

“Dean?” Castiel hopped off of the counter and inched closer to him, leaving the dream Dean behind. That was until he was stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Don’t go with him,” the other Dean begged, gripping Castiel a little tighter. “You will be happier with me.”

“Cas you have to snap out of it,” Dean insisted, angrily making his way to Cas. “You will die if you don’t.”

“Don’t listen to him. He is making it up,” the other Dean said with a sultry smile that made Castiel’s knees weak. He never wanted to leave this place, Castiel knew that. Maybe he should stay.

“Please, Dean, I don’t want to go.”

“Cas-”

“In this world Lisa doesn’t exist, you never cheated,” Castiel snapped. “We’re happy here.”

“This isn’t about that, Cas. If you stay here you will die, in less than 12 hours may I add.” Castiel’s determination to stay faltered at that. Was it all worth it? “Give me another chance,” Dean begged his anger fading away, making place for a wave of defeat.

“No!” the other Dean shouted, pulling Castiel back against his chest. Castiel tried to loosen the grip on his arm but nothing worked.

“Let me go!” Castiel yelled, kicking the dream Dean hard against his shins. Cas practically flew in the real Dean’s arms, seeking safety. “How do I wake up?”

“You have to kill yourself,” Dean replied, fading away slowly. The dream root was getting out of his system and it wasn’t long until he woke up again. He was met by Sam and Bobby’s worried eyes. Next to him was Cas, still sleeping.

It took less than a minute until Cas opened his eyes. He was drained, all of the energy had flown out of his body. He tried to stand but it felt as if he was floating as if the world was spinning.

Dean quickly caught him before he face planted on the floor and carried him bridal style to Baby. Dean handed the car keys to Sam, shooting him a pointed look that said: “be careful with my Baby” before getting into the back seat with Cas. There he laid Castiel’s head on his lap, fingers waving through his dark hair.

****

“Are you feeling better?” Dean asked kindly once Castiel opened his eyes again. After Cas fell asleep due to exhaustion in the car, Dean had carried him inside and tucked him into his bed.

“Yes, thank you,” Castiel replied, accepting the glass of water Dean was handing him. The awkwardness was already setting, they both knew they had to talk about Cas’s dream world.

“You were captured by a Djinn,” Dean begun, avoiding Cas’s eyes. “They poison the victim through skin contact. They show the victims their deepest desire.”

“I figured as much,” Castiel mumbled. “I’m truly sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, man. It’s not like you could do something about it,” Dean reassured, reaching for Castiel on instinct. He pulled back quickly once he realized what he was doing by Castiel extended his own hand and held Dean’s. Castiel smiled softly, rubbing Dean’s palm with his thumb.

Dean cleared his throat, ignoring the butterflies erupting in his stomach. “Why did you want me to come over yesterday?”

“I wanted to tell you that I believe you,” Castiel whispered. “Especially now that you saved my life.”

“Cas-”

“I owe you so much, Dean.” There was a lump forming in Castiel’s throat. A few hours later and he would have been dead. And to think that he wanted to stay in that twisted world. Of course he still wanted the real thing, he still wanted to be together with Dean, even after all of these years.

“It’s you,” Dean simply said, tears burning in his eyes as well. He almost lost him. That was one of the most terrifying things he could imagine. “I was serious when I asked you to give me a second chance. I want to fix this and I want to be with you.”

“I want to be with you too, Dean.” And then they were kissing. It was slow and heartfelt, not rushed at all. Castiel could feel the love and passion Dean held for him in that kiss. The kiss told him he was safe, that he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

“Maybe we should take things slow,” Dean suggested, gently swiping his thumb across Castiel cheekbone.

“I agree.”

They did take things slow after that. They didn’t just plunge into a relationship, no after everything that happened, especially in the past.

But as the dates went on, Cas slowly started to trust Dean again. Things got better and one year later, they decided to move in together.

“Pass me the box, babe?” Dean asked, holding his hand out for the box with “Dean’s stuff” on it. Castiel handed the box with a smile, curious to say what was in this one. So far they had unpacked their clothes and kitchen stuff. The house was really coming together now. It was not too big but big enough. They painted the walls in warm color which made the house, even cozier.

“What’s in it?” Cas asked, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist and resting his head on Dean’s shoulder. He had to stand on his toes a bit to look over Dean’s broad shoulder and found that the box contained some of Dean’s personal belongings. Like photographs and key chains he collected while he was on the road. One thing did catch his eye. “You kept it?”

“Of course I did,” Dean said, turning around and pecking Cas on his forehead. Castiel quickly searched around for a frame and found it in a box not far away. He removed the backside and carefully put the photograph inside. Once he put the backside where it belonged he put the frame on top of the chimney.

The house wasn’t fully decorated yet, to be quite honest it was still a work in progress. But the photograph of Dean and Cas kissing on that particular snowy day in front of a Christmas tree surrounded by lights really made the house a home. Their home.


End file.
